One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvatages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development #disadvatages

this

cutting-edge era,

due to

the improvement in medical

care

, individuals are living longer and

life

is inclining. Undoubtedly, the cons of increasing

life

expectancy totally outweigh the pros.

This

essay will discuss both benefits and drawbacks of

this

development in the subsequent paragraphs. To embark with, there are some cons to improving medical

care

. The predominant one is that government have to provide pensions to older people. It would increase the expenditures of the authorities. Owing to

this

, the country could not be able to develop. In India,

for instance

, 50% of funds only provide to older people for their medical

care

, accommodation and so on.

Due to

this

India is not developed.

Moreover

, families

also

have to spend a lot of money on their older people. Which is not worthwhile for them to attain success in their

life

. They have to

care

for their

grandparents

instead

of focusing on their careers.

However

, there are some benefits of increasing

life

expectancy.

Firstly

, children can learn moral values from their

grandparents

as they have a lot of experience. In

this

competitive era, every parent

become

Change the verb form

becomes

show examples

a workaholic so they have less time to expend with their little ones. Without,

grandparents

they cannot be able to learn moral values.

Grandparents

can

also

help their grandchildren to attain success. By providing the best suggestions in order to acquire success.

Thus

this

would be fruitful for young ones. In conclusion,

although

there are some positive outcomes of improving medical facilities, there are numerous drawbacks of

this

happening which cannot be overlooked.

Submitted by MANJOT on Sun Jul 23 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvatages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Far too little has been done to prevent animals and plants from dying out, although people have been aware of this problem for a long time. Why do people do so little about it? How can we prevent animals and plants from going extinct?

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.