Some people argue that sports are essential for us. Others think of sports as an activity for leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

It is thought by some individuals that
sports
are necessary for us. I could not agree more with
this
view for a specific reason: our body
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to make some physical activities. On the one hand,
sports
activities have a part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
life
as long as people have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free
time
because many individuals in today’s
word
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
make
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exercise
by choosing in daily
life
.
For example
, they prefer to commute to work by walking or running. That’s why they do not need to separate extra
time
in order to make
exercise
.
Therefore
, from their point
view
Change preposition
of view
show examples
,
sports
are a leisure
time
activity.
On the other hand
,
sports
events play a crucial role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
life
because our body has needed to make
exercise
, emerging from
evolution
Correct article usage
the evolution
show examples
process. Human
life
fulfilled
such
actions as hunting
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
, escaping from brutal animals, or migrating to new
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
in the past. That’s why,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
have a great effect on
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
of our body and
mental
Replace the word
mind
show examples
. To exemplify, nowadays, the most significant problems stem from
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
show examples
lifestyle
such
as many people increasingly
suffer
Wrong verb form
suffering
show examples
from depression or heart attack. As we quickly realize when we look at the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
those problems,
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
one of the most important factors of reasons
bases
Add a missing verb
is bases
show examples
on no activities in daily
life
.
Therefore
, it can be obviously said that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
protect us
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
physical and mental problems.
To conclude
,
sports
have a great impact on human health, and we have to make
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exercise
in daily
life
in
out
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
free
time
as well.
Submitted by eerkare on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: