In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this?

In some nations, youth
people
are encouraged to
work
or
travel
for a
year
between finishing secondary
school
and starting higher education studies. In my opinion, there are several merits for
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
off a
year
after high
school
and before tertiary education for young
people
including, youth
people
will gain
experience
, discover the world,
howover
Correct your spelling
however
, there are some demerits of
this
trend namely, jobs often low pay ,
travel
is not cheap. On the one hand, there are several benefits for take a
gap
year
between finishing high
school
and starting university studies for young
people
. The primary advantage for young
people
who decide to
work
will gain
partical
Correct your spelling
practical
experience
.
For example
, young
people
who
work
as, cashiers, drivers, and
cookers
Replace the word
cooks
show examples
will learn
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
and skills.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, through
work
young adult
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
wil
Correct your spelling
will
earn money, which mean they can use
this
money later to meet the fees of the university.
Dicover
Correct your spelling
Discover
the world is another advantage of
take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
a
gap
year
for young
people
. To illustrate, young
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
have a chance to
travel
worldwide to enjoy and discover
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
cultuers
Correct your spelling
culture
cultures
.
Moreover
, via
travel
Add a comma
,travel
show examples
young
people
can mitigate the stress away from
atmosphere
Add an article
the atmosphere
show examples
of the study.
On the other hand
, there are different downsides of
take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
a
year
off for youth
people
. The first downside,
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
young
people
who decide
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
during a
gap
year
usually
work
on low pay jobs.
For instance
, working as
cashier
Correct article usage
a cashier
show examples
mean
Change the verb form
means
show examples
low pay with high responsibilities, which means young
people
will become under financial and mental stress. The second downside, travelling during a
gap
year
for young
people
is
consierded
Correct your spelling
considered
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
expensive. To put on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other words, young
people
who
travel
will spend a considerable
amont
Correct your spelling
amount
of money on hotels and flights, and food.
To sum up
, From my perspective , there are many upsides for take off a
year
after high
school
and before tertiary education for young
people
including,
young
Add an article
the young
a young
show examples
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
will obtain real
experience
,
travel
Correct word choice
and travel
show examples
around the world,
howover
Correct your spelling
however
, there are some drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
trend namely, low pay jobs , and
travel
is not affordable.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

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  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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