Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age group. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Social
media
has rocketed in users ever since the internet became accessible to the masses. Use synonyms
However
, people have become comfortable with sharing personal Linking Words
information
and documents carelessly through social Use synonyms
media
. I believe that oversharing Use synonyms
information
on social Use synonyms
media
could pose a threat to our own lives.
Use synonyms
Security
on online Use synonyms
platforms
has always been a huge debate amongst their users, Use synonyms
due to
many unfortunate incidents previously occurring on various Linking Words
platforms
. Use synonyms
For instance
, Instagram users have experienced losing their accounts Linking Words
due to
a system malfunction, and other Linking Words
platforms
had to encounter Use synonyms
security
breaches following anonymous attacks. Use synonyms
Therefore
, the agenda has circled around the cybersecurity community caused of their lack of attention and innovation. Linking Words
However
, cybersecurity has enhanced in skill and awareness since Linking Words
then
. Even so, it has not cleared the incidents that have happened, making people more cautious about using social Linking Words
media
.
Use synonyms
Nevertheless
, system errors are not the only factors that may lead to dangers in our personal Linking Words
life
. Human mistakes could Fix the agreement mistake
lives
also
cause personal Linking Words
information
to get leaked. Use synonyms
This
could be Linking Words
due to
clumsy actions and decisions, or a lack of Linking Words
security
within the system. Use synonyms
Moreover
, most Linking Words
platforms
require our personal Use synonyms
information
and details, Use synonyms
for example
, government name, address, date of birth, and so on. Companies claim that they would not use Linking Words
this
Linking Words
information
to their benefitUse synonyms
,
and that they are stored safely in the cloud. Despite that, it raises suspicions and questions about the integrity of the company. Especially, for the companies that had a Remove the comma
apply
security
breach prior.
In conclusion, the integrity and safety of online Use synonyms
platforms
' Use synonyms
security
are still questioned Use synonyms
due to
many incidents. Linking Words
However
, our careless actions could Linking Words
also
result in the same consequences.Linking Words
Submitted by millionmiles.indonesia on
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coherence cohesion
To improve the coherence and cohesion, consider elaborating on the transition between ideas. Although the argument is generally easy to follow, connecting sentences or phrases can help guide the reader more smoothly. For instance, when moving from the topic of system errors to human mistakes, including a transition sentence could enhance clarity.
task achievement
In terms of task response, the essay would benefit from a more balanced examination of the prompt. While you provide a strong argument for the risks associated with sharing personal information, also exploring potential benefits or counterarguments could demonstrate a well-rounded analysis.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion. This establishes the context and provides closure to the reader.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively, discussing specific points related to the security risks of sharing personal information on social media. This shows an understanding of the prompt.