It is importan for everyone, inclduing younh people to save money for the future?To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
Is it crucial for people to save
money
especially young individuals for future prospect. Yes, I completely agree with the notion above because time is uncertain ahead, and if we save money
, it will add benefits like secure the future, invest in stocks, buy properties, and early retirement.
In this
modern world, where uncertainties are common due to
wars, inflation in economy, and dirty politics, which results in high price in groceries, fuel, and leave people with no job security. The impact of above-mentioned factors falls on the shoulder of common man which makes it hard to live a comfortable life without worrying, in turn saving money
is not an option but a necessity. For example
: Recent job scarcity leaves people unemployed which forced them to use saved money
.
Furthermore
, Investment can be done in stocks from the saved amount, which will generate multiple sources of income, create independency, and financial freedom. For example
: One can buy share from share market and sell it when the price of shares is high, in that case, it is a profit the trader.
Moreover
, commoners can achieve early retirement if they utilise the saved amount in mutuals funds, real state, and cryptocurrency. For example
: one can purchase a house when the real state market is cold but sell the house when the interest is low which makes a house expensive.
Finally
, I discussed various advantages of the topic and draws a conclusion, if one saves money
, they can survive or tackle situations full of challenges, explore the world, create a sense of peace by achieving financial freedom, set up new business.Submitted by ali695313 on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear stance on the topic and mentions several valid reasons for saving money. However, ensure each point is fully developed for even stronger impact. Consider adding more depth to each example to make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence clarity and grammatical accuracy. Some sentences are a bit convoluted and can be simplified. Avoiding minor errors will help enhance the readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Transition words like 'Furthermore' and 'Moreover' are used correctly, but some points feel abruptly introduced. Try to create smoother transitions between your ideas to improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a well-defined structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You used relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, which makes your essay more persuasive and engaging.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate the primary message of your essay. This helps in maintaining focus and clarity throughout.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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