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Writing Samples
Band 7

These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine rather than following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #health #doctors #medicine #lifestyle
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The vast majority tend to rely on doctors to help and treat their well-being. I believe
this
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 happens because new ways of treatment are appearing each year, and visiting a doctor is much easier than maintaining a healthy lifestyle. In today's world, individuals have a plethora of options when it comes to medical treatments. With advancements in technology and medicine, there are numerous professionals and services available in the job market that can cater to their healthcare needs. These options include regional hospitals and private clinics that provide medical care and assistance to patients. By having a wider range of options to choose from, people can have the freedom to select the healthcare provider that best suits their needs.
This
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 can help them overcome any hesitations or apprehensions they may have about their medical condition and enable them to make informed decisions regarding their healthcare.
Secondly
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, sticking to a healthy lifestyle can be a laborious task, so it is much easier to get a prescription from a doctor for any specific pills or vitamins that can help achieve desirable results, whether it is losing weight or improving sleeping problems.
For instance
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, people tend to buy medical preparations rather than deal with the root of the problem. The simple way of consuming pills is much more pleasant than putting in effort or time to avoid all the bad consequences of an unhealthy daily routine.
To conclude
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, people tend to seek and look for less time and labour-consuming actions to be in good shape and have great conditions of health
due to
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 the great development in the field of medicine and treatment.
Submitted by sevrukov.stepan on

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Task Response
Expand on the reasoning for relying on doctors and medicine rather than a healthy lifestyle. Provide more examples and explanations to support your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear logical structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion. It also maintains good cohesion between paragraphs. Consider using more linking words and cohesive devices to improve the overall coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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