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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Is the internet bad for young people? Give your opinion

#internet #people
Internet
Add an article
The Internet
show examples
 has been increasingly used throughout the world. For today's
generation
,
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 is one of the big
necessity
Fix the agreement mistake
necessities
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 for
surving
Correct your spelling
surviving
serving
 as it is useful in nearly all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
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 of work and made your task easy. But as a
two edged
Add a hyphen
two-edged
show examples
sword
Add a comma
,sword
show examples
 many
children
 are going in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 wrong direction which is bad for their health.
This
 will be proven by analyzing how
children
 are not enjoying the outside world and how they are becoming addicted to pornography. As young people invest their time mostly on
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
, they are not having
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 benefit to live in a
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
 environment. As people mostly sit on a chair, surfing or
browing
Correct your spelling
browsing
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, they have to go through many physical problems like obesity, wearing high power glasses and many more. People always scroll
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and
lying
Wrong verb form
lie
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lazy
Change the word
lazily
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, which
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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 their weight and in older
age
Add a comma
,age
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 they suffer a lot
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
this
.
Thus
, youth should understand
this
 problem and go outside
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their houses and relish
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mother nature. Today with the help of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
, it is very easy to access videos which are not meant for
younger
Add an article
the younger
a younger
show examples
generation
. Pornography is one
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 major issues
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 is facing as
children
 are becoming mentally sick and they do not have
an
Change the article
the
show examples
 urge to do anything. Their mind become used to the cheap dopamine and they want to get
this
adraline
Correct your spelling
adrenaline
 rush all the time. After analyzing
this
,
it is clear that
 using too much
internet
 may cause many problems
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the young
generation
.
Followong
Correct your spelling
Following
 the
analyzation
Replace the word
analysis
show examples
 of
internet
 usage by
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
generation
,
it is clear that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is
boon
Correct article usage
a boon
show examples
 but if
children
 use
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 an
unctrolled
Correct your spelling
uncontrolled
 manner it can become a curse.
Submitted by srivastav.anmol03 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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