International travel is becoming cheaper and countries are opening their door to more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourists outweigh disadvantages?

It is clear that
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international travel has become a popular global leisure activity in recent years
thanks
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, thanks
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to advancements in technology like online payment systems and remote booking.
Although
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the trend is not without disadvantages, I believe the upsides can justify these. On the one hand, international tourism has several potential drawbacks.
First,
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the increasing number of littering on popular destinations,
such
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as plastic bags, bottles and packaging, has negatively impacted the environment.
For example
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, plastics can cause marine animals to
entanglement
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become entangled
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or
contamination
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contaminated
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, pushing some species to the brink of extinction.
Second,
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if countries open their doors to welcome more tourists, the chances of spreading infectious diseases will increase. In 2019, international travel caused coronavirus disease to grow and spread more quickly and easily from one country to another, leading to a dramatic loss of human life.
On the other hand
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, increased travellers can be beneficial to a country and our society in many different ways. Local residents and businesses will be able to benefit from the income arising from an increasing number of travellers, which can
also
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make a significant contribution to the economy of a country.
For instance
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, tourism accounts for approximately 40% of the national economy in
Maldives
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the Maldives
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, ensuring its economic stability and security every year.
In addition
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, tourism has the special ability to bring together people from various nations, backgrounds, cultures and traditions.
In other words
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,
this
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helps foster mutual understanding and unification among humans, which may have long-lasting social effects. In short, the trend has both potential drawbacks and benefits.
However
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, I believe that the advantages are more significant since the development can bring broad-based benefits to both nations and individuals.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear and sets the stage well for your essay, which is great. However, try to make your thesis statement a bit stronger to clearly indicate your main argument; a clearer 'I believe...' can help.
coherence and cohesion
Consider linking your ideas more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs. Use words like 'firstly,' 'secondly,' and 'finally' to help guide the reader through your points easily.
task achievement
In your second body paragraph, you could develop the ideas a bit more. Adding a few extra sentences or examples about the social benefits could make your argument even stronger.
task achievement
You have a good understanding of the topic and provide relevant examples, which shows your knowledge and depth of research.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing flows well, and you have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand your overall argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • affordability
  • accessibility
  • tourism industry
  • host countries
  • cultural exchange
  • local economies
  • employment opportunities
  • infrastructure
  • heritage sites
  • global connectivity
  • over-tourism
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