Many people watch sports on TV these days. Do you think the advantages of watching sports on TV outweigh the disadvantages?

this

modern world, a lot of individuals can easily access

sports

events through screens these days. Possibly, there would be numerous pros and cons. I personally believe that the positives of

this

phenomenon are much more than the negatives. In

this

essay, I would like to explain the reasons. To commence with,

due to

the state-of-the-art technology, there are several ways we can watch

sports

games without presenting at the actual place. In a good way,

this

can give a lot of economic benefits to society. Since

people

can enjoy

sports

at a distance, we do not need to limit the audience which consumes the money.

For instance

, as per a report, the live-streaming

sports

game

market cause a lot of economic impact on notions, owing that they not only sell the right to stream games to broadcasting companies but

also

promote

people

to buy their

sports

products. Eventually,

this

business can give plenty of jobs to

people

as it grows .

Secondly

, watching

sports

on TV can give equal opportunities to everyone. Since it is not closed to

people

who buy a ticket for the

game

, even though there is a person who really wants to watch a

game

but can not afford to get in, he gets a chance to view the

game

on video streaming.

For example

, referring to a survey in Korea, the majority of

people

feel that

sports

event no longer belongs to some individuals but are open to the public since they started broadcasting services. To summarise, even though there could be some chances that

this

trend occurs negative impacts, I strongly support that it has a plethora of advantages.

Therefore

, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

Submitted by hugo65kim on Mon Jul 24 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Topic: a great city should not be confounded with a populous one. Discuss the above statement and give your own opinion

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