IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Traditions are about the past and innovation is about the future, and it has been argued that we need to let go of traditions for the sake of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? What role should traditions have in our lives?

#traditions #innovation #future #sake #progress #role #lives
In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern human society, the majority of people across the
globle
Correct your spelling
globe
global
 share some
thought
Correct subject-verb agreement
thoughts
show examples
 that possessing either a house or an apartment is more
adventages
Correct your spelling
advantages
advantageous
 than paying
monthly
Correct article usage
a monthly
show examples
rend
Change the form of the verb
rent
show examples
 to the landlord for one. In my opinion, I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
this
 is
possitive
Correct your spelling
positive
 development which will be
further
 explained in
this
 essay. In your
carerr
Correct your spelling
career
, the most principal thing
mark
Correct pronoun usage
that mark
show examples
 your milestones is owning a house.
It’s
Unnecessary verb
It
show examples
 not only
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 you more confident but
also
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 you feel secure
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 developing your career and family. Because having a homestead is
premise
Add an article
the premise
a premise
show examples
 to help you conquer, complete the goals you aim for in the future.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sucessful
Correct your spelling
successful
 entrepreneurs all come up from empty hands.
They’re
Unnecessary verb
They
show examples
 start
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
smallest
Correct article usage
the smallest
show examples
 things
ti
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 develop themself, from saving
money
 day by day, they can buy a small house for their family. And from
possess
Change the verb form
possessing
show examples
 a home, they are fully capable of
echieving
Correct your spelling
achieving
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 target in their life. And the next benefit of having a home is you can be free to decorate any you want. You can
di
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
 whatever you like without being hindered by anyone.
For instance
, you
haye
Correct your spelling
have
show examples
 be bothered by everyone so if you have a private space for
your self
Correct your spelling
yourself
show examples
, you can feel comfortable and unconfined to do what you like without being scrutinized or noticed.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, having
owner ship
Correct your spelling
ownership
show examples
 of
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
accommodations
also
 have some negative impact like you have to pay more
money
 for
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
 expenditures. And sometimes, you must pay some fixed
money
swich
Correct your spelling
such
 as
security
Correct article usage
a security
show examples
 fee or V.A.T tax. And it
also
generate
Change the verb form
generates
show examples
 other odd expenses, so you need to calculate carefully to avoid losing
money
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: