In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for Governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extend do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is
fact
Correct article usage
a fact

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that
average
Correct article usage
the average

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human lifespan increased over time, and
improved
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an improved

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elderly population starts a discussion between
governments
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and society. A group of
people
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believe that
ageing
Correct article usage
the ageing

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population is a burden for
governments
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,
however
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, other
people
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think there are numerous benefits of elder
people
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for their society. The elderly served their nation through their whole carrier, and households which makes their importance
as
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apply

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precious.
However
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, their healthcare expenditure and
insurance
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outcomes can be challenging for their families and
governments
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.
The healthcare
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Healthcare

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spending for elder
people
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is more expensive than
adults
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for adults

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and children. Dementia, heart problems, hip fractures and dislocations, hypertension and diabetes are the major health problems which are improving with
aging
Change the spelling
ageing

The spelling of aging is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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,
therefore
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, older
people
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experienced most of these diseases.
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Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Moreover. Consider adding a comma.

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the cost of treatment for these diseases will increase over time
due to
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rose average lifespan. It is true that
insurance
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companies were realised
this
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fact and they have started to arrange
insurance
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prices
according to
Linking Words

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ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age

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.
For instance
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, a 60 years old man, and a college student is not
pay
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paying

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the same amount for health
insurance
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anymore. Clearly,
insurance
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firms know
elder
Correct article usage
the elder

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population requires more attention and
efforts
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effort

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for their health.
On the other hand
Linking Words

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, some individuals believe
young
Correct article usage
the young

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generation needs experienced
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice

It appears that advices is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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for all
kind
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kinds

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of sectors from the elderly. Many critical areas
such
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as finance and politics require decades of experience for development.
Compaines
Correct your spelling
Companies

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and
governments
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb are appears to be unnecessary here.

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authorize older
people
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for important roles in different positions for consulting and advising purposes. Political organisations and companies can not take
risk
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risks

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for their actions and rely on working experience in the sector. In conclusion, some
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

believe older
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
Change the verb form
are

The verb is does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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problem
Add an article
a problem

The noun phrase problem seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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for their communities, but others believe ,
on the contrary
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they are beneficial in different areas.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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