the diagram below shows how honey is made in small- scale commercial production.

#honey #small- #scale #production

The diagram

illustrate

Change the verb form

illustrates

show examples

the production of

honey

made in small-scale commercials.

Firstly

, the main factor

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is bees must gather nectars in order to make

honey

. After that, in the bee

hive

Add a comma

,hive

show examples

the

honey

has to be dried.

Moreover

, they should keep

cells

clean and don’t let the pollution

inter

Correct your spelling

enter

show examples

the

cells

. As

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the

cells

have been cleaned by fan wings, the human phase started. They have to seal

cells

with wax and gather

honey combs

Correct your spelling

honeycombs

show examples

Then

, they have to press the combs and emit them in order to have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

pure

honey

Next,

men have to put

honey

sump

Correct article usage

a sump

show examples

tank. Which can provide 45-50c temperature.

Then

, we have to make sure that it doesn’t have any

dirts

Fix the agreement mistake

dirt

show examples

. So,

honey

goes to

Correct article usage

a sieven

show examples

sieven

Correct your spelling

seven

tank and

then

settling tank to stay for up to 4 days.

Finally

, it flows to specific jars and

Add a missing verb

show examples

packed to be

Change preposition

show examples

supermarket shelves.

Overall

, in small-scale commercial

honey

production, there are two phases.

Human

Correct article usage

The human

show examples

phase is much longer than

bee

Correct article usage

the bee

show examples

phase because

honey

should be

intentially

Correct your spelling

intentionally

monitored after the bee's hard work to be available for people.

Submitted by javadsaady1992 on Mon Jul 24 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words honey, cells with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

183 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
should student study harder than lesson. Do you agree or diagree?
As the world keeps moving making adaptation innovations encourages the students to develop themselves. Some people believe that this is a positive opportunity to study harder than the sourace while other opposes that should let students gain experience. This essay will examine why I disagree with this statement will be discussed.
7
band
Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reason for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
It is said that these days, several individuals spend a sizeable amount of their spare time on their smartphones. I think that a lack of public awareness and having a hectic schedule are the main reasons for the present situation. Moreover, in my opinion, the negative effects of this behaviour can override its positives.
7
band
Poor nutrition and obesity is a problem in many developed countries and some people believe that a tax on fast food would reduce the problem. Do you agree?
Nowadays, malnutrition and fatness have become an issue in many developed countries and some people assert that a tax on junk food would decrease the problem. Nonetheless, I strongly disagree with that due to reasons which will be discussed in the following paragraph.
6
band
some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion should be the main function o a university ?
In a modern society that is extremely competitive and individuals struggle to succeed in their professional lives the role of higher education is being constantly questioned. Some people argue that universities should aim to equip their graduates with certain skills that will enable them to get hired and at the same time make them more competent employees. On the other ,hand many disagree with that and believe that their purpose is to provide them with the necessary knowledge for the subject they chose to study. I strongly believe that educational institutions should focus on transmitting knowledge.
4.5
band
Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
• Some people believe that some companies sponsoring sports as a way of advertising is advantageous whilst others argue that it has drawbacks.

the diagram below shows how honey is made in small- scale commercial production.

should student study harder than lesson. Do you agree or diagree?

Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reason for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Poor nutrition and obesity is a problem in many developed countries and some people believe that a tax on fast food would reduce the problem. Do you agree?

Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.