the diagram below shows how honey is made in small- scale commercial production.

#honey #small- #scale #production

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The diagram

illustrate

Change the verb form

illustrates

show examples

the production of

honey

Use synonyms

made in small-scale commercials.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the main factor

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is bees must gather nectars in order to make

honey

Use synonyms

. After that, in the bee

hive

Add a comma

,hive

show examples

the

honey

Use synonyms

has to be dried.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they should keep

cells

Use synonyms

clean and don’t let the pollution

inter

Correct your spelling

enter

show examples

the

cells

Use synonyms

. As

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the

cells

Use synonyms

have been cleaned by fan wings, the human phase started. They have to seal

cells

Use synonyms

with wax and gather

Use synonyms

honey combs

Correct your spelling

honeycombs

show examples

Then

Linking Words

, they have to press the combs and emit them in order to have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

pure

honey

Use synonyms

Next,

Linking Words

men have to put

honey

Use synonyms

sump

Correct article usage

a sump

show examples

tank. Which can provide 45-50c temperature.

Then

Linking Words

, we have to make sure that it doesn’t have any

dirts

Fix the agreement mistake

dirt

show examples

. So,

honey

Use synonyms

goes to

Correct article usage

a sieven

show examples

sieven

Correct your spelling

seven

tank and

then

Linking Words

settling tank to stay for up to 4 days.

Finally

Linking Words

, it flows to specific jars and

Add a missing verb

show examples

packed to be

Change preposition

show examples

supermarket shelves.

Overall

Linking Words

, in small-scale commercial

honey

Use synonyms

production, there are two phases.

Human

Correct article usage

The human

show examples

phase is much longer than

bee

Correct article usage

the bee

show examples

phase because

honey

Use synonyms

should be

intentially

Correct your spelling

intentionally

monitored after the bee's hard work to be available for people.

Submitted by javadsaady1992 on Mon Jul 24 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words honey, cells with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

183 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion.
A group of citizens think that, it is the best way to accept all bad aspects of our work conditions such as unsatisfactory or insufficient salary, while others believe that, it is beneficial to do our best to enhance our bad conditions. I completely agree that we have to try to make our position more comfortable because it will improve all aspects of our lives (mentally and physically).
7
band
Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?
In today's world of commerce, many individuals are more inclined to purchase products from several prevalent businesses that have substantial marketing and promotion campaigns. This trend results in some remarkable issues and devising a solution necessitates an endeavour including the government and other small enterprises.
7.5
band
Many students now work whilst they are studying in college or university. This often results in them having less time to concentrate on their education as feeling under pressure. What are some of the causes of this? What solution could you suggest?
Besides studying in college or university, many student work, and as a consequence, they do not have enough time they spend on their lessons owing to the feeling of pressure. This essay agrees that the cause of this is a modern development demand, while the solution can be an alleviation of requirements towards the young who have graduated from university.
5.5
band
Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some people believe that children should be taught by their parents about how to function as useful members of society, while others believe that sending children to educational institutions is the best way for them to study this. Although the latter opinion can be beneficial in some cases, I believe that family upbringing plays a more important role in educating children to be good parts of the community.
4.5
band
You recently stayed at your friend's place, to look after the house while he/she is away. You accidentally damaged something in his/her house. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, you should: describe what the accident was explain when it happened suggest how the damage can be fixed.
Hope to see you in the best of your health and radiant spirit. I’m writing this letter to let you know that by mistake I damaged your painting.

the diagram below shows how honey is made in small- scale commercial production.

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?

Many students now work whilst they are studying in college or university. This often results in them having less time to concentrate on their education as feeling under pressure. What are some of the causes of this? What solution could you suggest?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

You recently stayed at your friend's place, to look after the house while he/she is away. You accidentally damaged something in his/her house. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, you should: describe what the accident was explain when it happened suggest how the damage can be fixed.