IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

the map below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton , and planned future development of the site.

the map below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton , and planned future development of the site.
#show #area #town #norbiton #future #development #site
The map illustrates the town of
Norbidon
Change noun form
Norbidon's
show examples
 Current industrial area and
planned
Correct article usage
the planned
show examples
 forthcoming development of the Site.
overall
, It is most
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 that the Norbiton area
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 planned to change a great deal
as
Change preposition
by
show examples
 introducing new
facilities
.
Firstly
,
elimination
Correct article usage
the elimination
show examples
 of factories and
introduction
Correct article usage
the introduction
show examples
 of
Housing
Correct article usage
a Housing
show examples
Scheme
 and recreational
facilities
.
Secondly
, they have planned to erect new infrastructures too.
To begin
 with, The Norbiton industrial area presently
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has a roundabout and two roads to
east
Correct article usage
the east
show examples
 and South side of the map. Numerous factories
are Surrounded
Change the verb form
have Surrounded
show examples
 the roads.
The future
Correct article usage
Future
show examples
 development depicts
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
growth. and modification of introducing new
facilities
.
Furthermore
, a new bridge
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 planned
to Construct
Change the verb form
constructed
show examples
 on top of
river
Add an article
the river
a river
show examples
, and a road Connected to the bridge. Next to
river
Correct article usage
the river
show examples
 planned
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 enlarged housing
scheme
. A new road
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been planned to Construct to the northwest and a housing
Scheme
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
 be added end of it and
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 housing
scheme
Change to a plural noun
schemes
show examples
planned
Add a missing verb
are planned
show examples
 to build parallel to it.
A numerous
Correct the article-noun agreement
Numerous
show examples
facilities
planned
Add a missing verb
are planned
show examples
 to establish,
such
 as Shops
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the southwest side , a medical centre
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the southeast side and a playground middle of
roundabout
Correct article usage
the roundabout
show examples
 and
school
Correct article usage
a school
show examples
 , and
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 housing
scheme
Change to a plural noun
schemes
show examples
 across it.
Lastly
, a new
mini roundabout
Add a hyphen
mini-roundabout
show examples
 will be added beneath the main road, the previous roundabout
Submitted by zahraasmi2001 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words facilities, scheme with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.
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