In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development

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In many nations around the world, locals from rural

areas

Use synonyms

are moving to urban

areas

Use synonyms

therefore

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, the number of inhabitants in the countryside is going down. From my point of view, I partly agree with

this

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statement for some reasons mentioned in

this

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essay. On the one hand, there are some good aspects when rural

people

Use synonyms

settle down in

centre

Add an article

the centre

show examples

Firstly

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, more job opportunities are offered. Cities often have many factories and firms,

therefore

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, sources of income will be provided for rural inhabitants.

Secondly

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, many

people

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move to cities to experience plenty of better health, education or entertainment services which don't grow well in the countryside.

Moreover

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, living in a city helps them develop themselves better, it

also

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brings many chances to learn and expand relationships.

Additionally

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, when residents from many regions settle down in urban

areas

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together, cultural diversity will be promoted which creates a diverse living environment.

On the other hand

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, there are some drawbacks.

Firstly

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, migrations can lead to a population fall in rural

areas

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and local cultures will gradually disappear.

Furthermore

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, when

people

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move

Change preposition

apply

show examples

downtown too much, cities will face infrastructure overload, and traffic jams

due to

Linking Words

the growth in residents. Another serious issue is that overpopulation will lead to environmental problems and the lack of green spaces.

Lastly

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, because of the population rise, crime rates will

also

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go up and other social problems

such

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as homelessness and violence will appear. In conclusion, moving to

cites

Correct your spelling

cities

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has both good and bad aspects. Many

people

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want to settle down in the city to develop themselves and their careers,

while

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others want to live in the countryside,

as a consequence

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this

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depends on each individual.

Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on Sat Jun 29 2024

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coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure to use more linking phrases and transitional words throughout your paragraphs.

task achievement

Try to further develop your main points with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

You provided a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of the topic effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You recently returned from oversea by air and left a valuable item on the plane. Write a letter to the airline manager. In your letter .Describe the item you left behind .Say why it is important to you .Explain what you would like the airline manager to do

Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Most of the world's problems are caused by overpopulation. Do you agree or disagree?

nowadays many people smoke what causes this and what are effects

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.