IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Money should be spent on creating new public buildings such as museums or town halls rather than renovating the existing ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #buildings #museums #town #halls #ones
There is a common belief that money should be invested in establishing new public amenities
instead
 of remodelling the current ones. From my perspective, I agree with the statement
as
Change preposition
that
show examples
 creating up-to-date structures can attain the citizens’ necessities and
safety
.
To begin
 with, redecorating the existing public facilities has some advantages.
First,
it is cost-effective. The infrastructure is already in place, reducing the need for extensive groundwork and site development.
Besides
, renovation costs are typically lower than building costs, making it a more budget-friendly option for governments and institutions.
Second,
refurbishing these structures allows for the preservation of their unique architectural features and historical value.
This
 helps maintain the cultural heritage of a community and can contribute to its identity and sense of pride.
On the other hand
, I believe that renovating new public
buildings
 is more important. One reason is that these newly constructed
buildings
 meet the demands of individuals. With the fast-changing development of the world, businesses and citizens may need modern and functional designs that are fully equipped with technological facilities, and old
buildings
 may no longer satisfy these needs.
For example
, many assembly
buildings
 are established, including cinemas, theatres, and town halls, to fulfil the needs of amusement, recreation, and social purposes. Another radical reason is that it guarantees
safety
 and compliance. New
buildings
 are created to comply with current
safety
 codes and regulations.
This
 ensures that the structure meets the necessary standards for structural integrity, fire
safety
, accessibility, and other crucial aspects.
To conclude
, I restate that constructing new public
buildings
 has more advantages than renovating the current ones as it can fulfil the citizens' requirements and ensure security.
Submitted by ngocthuykatie on

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task response
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coherence and cohesion
Maintain a logical flow of ideas and connections between sentences and paragraphs. Use cohesive devices to link ideas and maintain coherence.
lexical resource
Diversify the range of vocabulary and use more advanced lexical resources to express ideas more precisely. Avoid repetition and use a variety of sentence structures to showcase a wider vocabulary.
grammatical range
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • symbolizes
  • evolving
  • aspirations
  • incorporate
  • accessibility
  • catalyst
  • economic development
  • heritage
  • conserves
  • cultural
  • integrity
  • operational inefficiencies
  • sustainably
  • repurpose
  • throwaway culture
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental degradation
  • context-specific
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