Many today feel that attention spams are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, social
media
have bocce
a significant part of our lives.not only social Correct your spelling
become
media
is excessively addictive but also
informative in various ways. Although
, there is no scientific evidence, which could prove that the use
of social platforms is the cause of ageing.
To begin
with, the wide spread
of technology is highly affirmative in our society. Since the introduction of smartphones has come into our lives, it has been keeping us up to date with Correct your spelling
widespread
this
latest technology. Either if
we talk about youngsters or elderly people, all are connecting their roots with Correct word choice
Whether
this
latest development. For instance
, regular callings have now become live video chatting with zero latency, which could give us real-time reactions on video callings, even if you are far away. Usage of social media
has become crucial, but in professional life or private, we are using our precious life hours on social media
rather than living our life
in a simple way. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
This
could become a major contraction in our health
.
On the other hand
, some individuals believe that major health
problems are occurred
Wrong verb form
occur
by
the Change preposition
because of
use
of smart devices, yet it is not scientifically proven. It seems to me that, controlling our screen time usage could be beneficial for us in terms of regulating our overall
health
. No sooner, it would be a major concern for our eyes with high use
than it will spread throughout our whole body. To illustrate this
, gaming addiction had
caused several mental problems, even in some cases gamers Wrong verb form
has
could
not able to stand up after 15 hours of gaming sessions. For Verb problem
are
this
social media
can become dangerous but controlling usage will help many individuals.
In conclusion, self-control over extreme addiction can be eliminated by willpower. In my opinion ageing and social media
has
no Correct subject-verb agreement
have
such
relation but excessive use
could cause several and maybe major health
issues.Submitted by user349953 on
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task response
The essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth and clarity. The ideas are not fully developed, and the response does not fully engage with the complexity of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Ideas are not logically organized, and there is a lack of coherence between paragraphs. Transition words and cohesive devices are underutilized, resulting in unclear connections between ideas.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary with occasional inaccuracies and a limited variety of expressions. There is a need for more precise word choices and vocabulary related to the topic. Additionally, collocations and idiomatic language can be incorporated for better fluency.
grammatical range
The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors, especially with subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and word order. The use of punctuation marks and sentence variety can enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
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