Many today feel that attention spams are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, social
media
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have
bocce
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become
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a significant part of our lives.not only social
media
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is excessively addictive but
also
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informative in various ways.
Although
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, there is no scientific evidence, which could prove that the
use
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of social platforms is the cause of ageing.
To begin
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with, the
wide spread
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widespread
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of technology is highly affirmative in our society. Since the introduction of smartphones has come into our lives, it has been keeping us up to date with
this
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latest technology.
Either if
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Whether
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we talk about youngsters or elderly people, all are connecting their roots with
this
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latest development.
For instance
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, regular callings have now become live video chatting with zero latency, which could give us real-time reactions on video callings, even if you are far away. Usage of social
media
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has become crucial, but in professional life or private, we are using our precious life hours on social
media
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rather than living our
life
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lives
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in a simple way.
This
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could become a major contraction in our
health
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.
On the other hand
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, some individuals believe that major
health
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problems
are occurred
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occur
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by
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because of
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the
use
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of smart devices, yet it is not scientifically proven. It seems to me that, controlling our screen time usage could be beneficial for us in terms of regulating our
overall
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health
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. No sooner, it would be a major concern for our eyes with high
use
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than it will spread throughout our whole body. To illustrate
this
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, gaming addiction
had
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has
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caused several mental problems, even in some cases gamers
could
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are
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not able to stand up after 15 hours of gaming sessions. For
this
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social
media
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can become dangerous but controlling usage will help many individuals. In conclusion, self-control over extreme addiction can be eliminated by willpower. In my opinion ageing and social
media
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has
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have
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no
such
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relation but excessive
use
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could cause several and maybe major
health
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issues.
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task response
The essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth and clarity. The ideas are not fully developed, and the response does not fully engage with the complexity of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Ideas are not logically organized, and there is a lack of coherence between paragraphs. Transition words and cohesive devices are underutilized, resulting in unclear connections between ideas.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary with occasional inaccuracies and a limited variety of expressions. There is a need for more precise word choices and vocabulary related to the topic. Additionally, collocations and idiomatic language can be incorporated for better fluency.
grammatical range
The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors, especially with subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and word order. The use of punctuation marks and sentence variety can enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

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