IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The top priority of business is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilties. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#priority #business #money #responsibilties
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Nowadays, there are
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of organazations 's aim is
earn
Fix the infinitive
to earn
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 money and have high expenditure so that there do not have to do social
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
. I agree that
this
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expect
Replace the word
expectation
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 is somewhat justifiable.
However
Linking Words
, I still believe that each
business
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
need
Change the verb form
needs
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 to have the
responsibilties
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to social not only focus on finance. On the one hand, we can not deny that the primary
purposes
Fix the agreement mistake
purpose
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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economics is earn a great deal of profits. Every
business
Use synonyms
begin
Change the verb form
begins
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 at the number zero
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
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set
Correct subject-verb agreement
sets
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 up
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 own goals upstairs. Based on their own aims to not make any loss the top leader will arrange plans for each company to expand production, manufacture
produces
Replace the word
products
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 and not concentrate on different figures around them.
Moreover
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, a profitable boost from each
institue
Correct your spelling
institute
 can help the government in finance and equal the national
economics
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economy
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. So in some way, profit
continue
Change the verb form
continues
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 to play a crucial role and
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 to be
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
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 more
in
Change preposition
on
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 the future of the
business
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, there are a host of crucial reasons that I notice
to
Change preposition
apply
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convinced that
besides
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 profit
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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 ought to have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public responsibilities. It is vital to understand that
business
Use synonyms
 need to have
a philanthropic actions
Correct the article-noun agreement
a philanthropic action
philanthropic actions
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 to social.
For instance
Linking Words
, the underprivileged and unemployment rate in public these days is
overeact
Correct your spelling
overreact
overreach
overact
. Some
corporation
Fix the agreement mistake
corporations
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 just need only the
talent
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talented
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 employee and refuse the unskilled-worker.
Business
Use synonyms
 should expand their round of job opportunities to lead
an
Change preposition
to an
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 improvement in the working rate. In
additon
Correct your spelling
addition
, charity is
also
Linking Words
 an ethical
activites
Correct your spelling
activity
 that the top managements need to notice. It not only help
business
Use synonyms
 grow their reputations but
also
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 their money when they collab with
another companies
Replace the adjective
another company
other companies
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.
This
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 is a key role in
business
Use synonyms
 development
as well as
Linking Words
 bear shoulder responsibility.
Despite there
Change preposition
There
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 is considerable debate over how each
business
Use synonyms
 should react if they choose to tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
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the problems of public requirement or go back to the drawing board
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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commercial. I would contend that
their
Replace the word
there
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 still need to have a
storng
Correct your spelling
strong
and
Correct word choice
apply
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respect
to
Change preposition
for
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 the outside public.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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