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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of tourists visit a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarize the information selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visit a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarize the information selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
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The graph illustrates the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who visited a particular Caribbean
island
Use synonyms
 from 2010 to 2017. It
also
Linking Words
 expresses the millions of
tourists
Use synonyms
 staying on a cruise
ship
Use synonyms
 and on an
island
Use synonyms
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the total number of
tourists
Use synonyms
 increased continuously during 8 years.
Although
Linking Words
 the figure of
people
Use synonyms
 staying on a
ship
Use synonyms
 is higher than those staying on an
island
Use synonyms
 in 2010, it becomes reverse after 2016. In 2010, 1
million
Use synonyms
tourists
Use synonyms
 visit a particular Caribbean
island
Use synonyms
. Among them, 0.75
million
Use synonyms
 stay on it
while
Linking Words
 0.25
million
Use synonyms
 stay on a cruise
ship
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who came to the
island
Use synonyms
 went up and reached 1.5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2012.
However
Linking Words
, those
people
Use synonyms
 who stayed on it remained at the same level until 2011 and increased to 1.5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2013. Meanwhile, the figure for visitors staying on a
ship
Use synonyms
 fluctuates between 0.25
million
Use synonyms
 to 0.5
million
Use synonyms
 from 2010 to 2013.
Then
Linking Words
, there was a significant rise in the total number of
tourists
Use synonyms
 from 1.5
million
Use synonyms
 to 3.5
million
Use synonyms
 in the following years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the millions of
tourists
Use synonyms
 staying on a
ship
Use synonyms
 was stable at 1.5
million
Use synonyms
 and those staying on the
island
Use synonyms
 rose obviously to about 1.5
million
Use synonyms
. In 2015, the latter took over the former at 1.4
million
Use synonyms
 and
finally
Linking Words
 reached 2
million
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, island, tourists, ship, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 3 times.
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