IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Modern technology is now very common in most workplaces. How do you think this has changed the way that we work Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?

#technology #workplaces #work
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It is certainly true today modern
technology
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 has become extremely popular in major
workplaces
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. In my opinion, modern
technology
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change
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changes
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 the method of our
work
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 positively via
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
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 the
communication
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 between
staff
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 and
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 our
work
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 more convenient,
howoever
Correct your spelling
however
, too much
rely
Replace the word
reliance
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 on modern
technology
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 can bring downsides including,
make
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making
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employees
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 struggle mentally
as well as
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 physically. On the one hand, I believe
the
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apply
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modern
technology
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change
Correct subject-verb agreement
changes
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 the
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workplaces
Fix the agreement mistake
workplace
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to
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in
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positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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 way through improve
the
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apply
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communication
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 between
staff
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 and make our
work
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 more convenient. Regarding
communication
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,
the
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apply
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managers can communicate with their
employees
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 in
easy
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an easy
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 way.
For example
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, the boss can discuss information related to the
work
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 with their workers through computers or smartphones.
Therefore
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, modern
technology
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 can enhance the productivity of
staff
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via
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apply
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to make
communication
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 easier. When it comes to convenience , modern
technology
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 can make
workplaces
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 more comfortable.
This
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 is because
employees
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 can use their computers to finish their
taskes
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tasks
 with less effort.
For instance
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,
employees
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 can use
the
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apply
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Microsoft
office
Capitalize word
Office
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 namely, Excel,
word
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the word
a word
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 in order to solve complex calculations related to their
work
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 .
On the other hand
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, I think too much depends on modern
technology
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 can have a negative
impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
impact
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 on
workplaces
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. The primary drawback of too much
rely
Replace the word
reliance
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 on modern
technology
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 is can make
employees
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 struggle with mental health issues namely,
derpression
Correct your spelling
depression
, and anxiety.
This
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 is because
,
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apply
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lack
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a lack
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 of face-to-face interaction of among
employees
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 can make them
are
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apply
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more vulnerable to get mental health problems.
Make
Wrong verb form
Making
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employees
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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more likely to get serious diseases is another disadvantage of too much
rely
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reliance
show examples
 on modern
technology
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. To illustrate,
employees
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 spend a considerable amount of time in front of
technology
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 without movement, which
make
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makes
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 workers
are
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apply
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more vulnerable to
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 serious illnesses namely,
obersity
Correct your spelling
obesity
, and heart attack.
To sum up
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,
For
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From
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 my perspective, modern
technology
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change
Correct subject-verb agreement
changes
show examples
 the way of our
work
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 positively via boosts the
communication
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 between
staff
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 and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 our
work
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 more comfortable,
howoever
Correct your spelling
however
, too much
rely
Replace the word
reliance
show examples
 on modern
technology
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 can bring drawbacks
such
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 as ,
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
employees
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 suffer mentally and physically.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • software applications
  • high-speed internet
  • communication
  • collaboration
  • geographical boundaries
  • remote work
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
  • skill gaps
  • job displacement
  • automation
  • artificial intelligence
  • dependency
  • security risks
  • data breaches
  • cyber attacks
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