IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In recent years, the number of people choosing to work remotely has increased significantly, resulting in a considerable shift in the traditional workplace environment. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend, and provide your opinion on whether this shift towards remote work is ultimately beneficial or detrimental to society as a whole. Support your arguments with relevant examples and evidence.

#years #people #work #shift #workplace #environment #trend #society #support #arguments #evidence
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Nowadays the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 are convinced that it is more beneficial for them to do remote
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
instead
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 of occupying
in
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apply
show examples
conventional and traditional forms of vocations in an office.
Although
Linking Words
 many
people
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 are working in their offices, there are a lot of
people
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 who tend to opt
remote
Change preposition
for remote
show examples
 working. In the paragraphs to come, I shall be putting my views on both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic and peddle
up
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apply
show examples
my opinion on the topic. On the one hand, when
employees
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 are working remotely they have less
stress
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 and their working
time
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 is more flexible. It is a fact that when
people
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 are in their
home
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 they not only feel more comfortable but
also
Linking Words
 they can
also
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 manage their
home
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 and children,
as a
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result
Add the comma(s)
,result
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 their performance increases and they feel less amount of
stress
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 about both their
work
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 and children.
Moreover
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, when
employees
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 are in their own
Use synonyms
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 and
work
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 remotely, their
time
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as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
also
Linking Words
 more flexible and there is no pressure and strict control on them and they can
work
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 whenever they wish.
For example
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, during
Corona virus
Correct your spelling
Coronavirus
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 pandemic I had to
work
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 remotely and it was my first experience
of
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apply
show examples
remote working. Not only had I very good feeling, but
also
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 I had a very good relationship with my colleagues through social media. We were doing our jobs successfully and we had less
stress
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.
On the other hand
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, remote working has some disadvantages including less accuracy and difficulties in guiding
a
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apply
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teamwork
Correct your spelling
team work
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 remotely. To put it another words, when
employees
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 are not in their offices and especially when they are in their
home
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 there are lots of distractions for them that avoid concentration.
Furthermore
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, it is a fact that managers cant control and monitor the
employees
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 during remote working and it is hard to keep in touch with all of the group members at the same
time
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.
Consequently
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, the accuracy decreases.
For example
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, some recent
surveyed
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surveys
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 showed that one of the most difficult tasks during Corona pandemic was setting a good meeting with all the
employees
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 since there were lots of
distraction
Fix the agreement mistake
distractions
show examples
 during the meetings. To make a long story short, despite the fact that there are some negative points
such
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ass
Correct your spelling
as
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 less accuracy and hardships in guiding
employees
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 in the field of remote working, I believe that the advantages of working remotely outweigh the disadvantages and especially during pandemics as it decreases the level of
stress
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 and provide workers by flexible
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time lines
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timelines
show examples
.
Submitted by yavari1993 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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