IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is impossible to help all people around the world in need so governments should focus on people from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #world #governments #focus #country
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It is often argued that it is not possible to give
a
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apply
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financial aid to
people
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 who came from deprived
area
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areas
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 all over the
world
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. In my view, I believe that the main priority of every
country
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 and
governments
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government
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 is that they ought to
emphasis
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emphasise
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 on their own citizens because they are certain issues that need to be handled.
To begin
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 with, there are some reasons why governments could not always help poor
people
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 outside of their
country
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.
This
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 is because they already have some obstacles within the
country
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 that should be tackled rather than help others.
For example
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, air pollution and traffic congestion are the main increasingly worrying problems facing the whole
world
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.
Instead
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 of supporting
people
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 in need in other parts of the
world
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 government should concentrate on solving existing problems that
people
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 are experiencing.
Therefore
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, in my point of view focus should be placed to deal with problems within the
country
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.
Nevertheless
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, it is believed by some
countries
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 from disadvantaged
background
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backgrounds
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 should be given humanitarian aid by some affluent
countries
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.
Some
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In some
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countries
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,
for example
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, African nationals are facing some difficulties
such
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 as famine and suffering from certain diseases as well. To be addressed
this
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 problem developed states ought to assist these developing
countries
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 in need with drugs foods and clothes
as well as
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 sending qualified doctors to treat patients who became a victim
some
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of some
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 serious illness. In conclusion, it is hard to help all
people
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 around the
world
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 in need so governments should meet their
citizens
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citizen's
citizens'
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 needs to make their lives better than aid others.
Submitted by dilnur9919 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • limited resources
  • moral obligation
  • global stability
  • economic impact
  • domestic issues
  • international aid
  • diplomatic relationships
  • resource allocation
  • healthcare
  • education
  • infrastructure
  • national priorities
  • desperate need
  • indirect benefit
  • goodwill
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