IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. HelShe has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter Explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holliday Describe some possible disadvantages Say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer

#friend #holiday #first #time #summer #helshe #advice #holliday
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Misha Hope you are doing well. I am happy to hear that you are going on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
holiday and thank you for taking my advice. First of all, I believe that you will totally enjoy it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because I know that you are going through a rough time and you are feeling so depressed, so going on a holiday is the best way to forget about your problems. But there are some possible disadvantages that can happen
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 you during your journey.
Firstly
, be aware of keeping yourself safe because there are a lot of wild animals and insects in the evenings.
In addition
 to
this
, the weather is not always good in those places too. So, be careful and look into
this
matters
Fix the agreement mistake
matter
show examples
also
. As you know, I love holidays and going to sightseeing places and I really wanted to go on
camping
Add an article
a camping
show examples
 holiday with you, but I have already planned how to spend my summer time in Dubai with my family. Sorry about that and I hope that we can go together the next time. Yours faithfully Pulat
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Content
Provide a more detailed explanation on why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday. Include specific activities or experiences that might appeal to your friend.
Content
When describing the disadvantages, consider offering solutions or precautions that your friend can take. This will make your advice more constructive.
Tone
To improve the tone, try adding more personal touches or enthusiasm when talking about the possibility of camping together in the future. This could make the letter feel more personal and warm.
Structure
Ensure that each paragraph sticks to a single idea but try to expand a bit more on each point with examples or personal anecdotes to make the letter more engaging.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: