IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #books #store #internet
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In the past, searching for
information
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 about people
come
Wrong verb form
came
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 from
books
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. These days individuals use
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internet
Add an article
the internet
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for
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to
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 search
data
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. Personally, I think using the
internet
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 is more beneficial than drawbacks.
This
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 essay will be discussed in detail below paragraphs. On the one hand, Finding a knowledge database from
books
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 has several drawbacks.
Firstly
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, reading a book to find interesting
information
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 leads to wasting time because we need to research slowly every single page of
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Correct article usage
the books
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books
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book
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 to gain
information
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.
In addition
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, searching for
data
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 from
books
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 can be inconvenient for people as they need to explore knowledge from outside places
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 University
library
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libraries
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 or government resources.
Moreover
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, some knowledge that can not be found in the free public services, citizens need to pay for it.
On the other hand
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, Today, it can be observed that after advanced technology has been allocated to societies, These technologies, especially, the
Internet
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 play an essential role in nations. compared to the past, individuals
looking
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looked
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 for databases from their own devices
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 laptops or mobile phones.
These knowledges
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This knowledge
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 can be accessed within less than one second through their devices.
Also
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, people do not
to
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have to
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 waste their time for searching
data
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 outside their homes because they will be able to find
data
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 on their devices.
Additionally
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, the
Internet
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 provides free and accurate
data
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 ,and citizens can search for
information
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 to compare
data
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 with other websites without paying. In conclusion, accessing
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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 from
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Internet
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the Internet
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 is more convenient than searching for
books
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 not only easier but
also
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 gain a variety of
information
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 without paying. There are more
beneficial
Replace the word
benefits
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 outweigh the drawbacks.
Submitted by chachawrch on

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coherence and cohesion
You need to enhance the introduction and conclusion in your essay to provide a clear overview of your argument and summarize your main points effectively.
task achievement
Make sure to address the prompt directly by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of storing knowledge in books versus on the internet. Provide specific examples to support your points and ensure your ideas are clearly presented.
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