IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the samepark today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #park #first #samepark #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The maps detail the changes from 1920 to today in Grand
Park
Use synonyms
. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that the
park
Use synonyms
 added and expanded areas mainly related to entertainment including a larger stage and various areas for recreation. There was
also
Linking Words
 significant relocation in terms of seating and the only areas that remained the same were the entrances and one minor
garden
Use synonyms
. The most striking change is in the centre of the
park
Use synonyms
 where the fountain has
removed
Add a missing verb
been removed
show examples
 in favour of a rose
garden
Use synonyms
 with full seating around it. To the left of the new
garden
Use synonyms
, the previous stage for musicians has been turned into a much larger
ampitheatre
Correct your spelling
amphitheatre
 facing the opposite direction that will allow for concerts in the
park
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 change has necessitated the removal of both seating on the far left side
as well as
Linking Words
 the rose
garden
Use synonyms
 in the bottom left corner of the map. The entrances at the top and bottom in the middle have remained unchanged but on the right side a cafe has replaced the rose
garden
Use synonyms
 and where there was a pond for water plants in the top right corner, there is now a children’s play area.
Instead
Linking Words
 of the pond, a water feature has been built occupying the bottom right corner (replacing a glasshouse and some seats).
Finally
Linking Words
, leading to the water
park
Use synonyms
 is a new entrance for an underground car
park
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by dinaka0001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: