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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018
#shops #country
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The line graph illustrates how many shops
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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closed and how many new shops opened from 2011 to 2018 in
one
Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
.
Shop
Use synonyms
openings
Use synonyms
 experienced a significant decrease.
While
Linking Words
,
shop
Use synonyms
closures
Use synonyms
 rates of fluence in
one
Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
. There were over 6000 shops in 2011. But the
number
Use synonyms
 of
shop
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closures
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 declined slightly to 6000 in 2012. The next
year
Use synonyms
 there was a noticeable increase to 7000 from 2013 to 2014. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
shop
Use synonyms
closures
Use synonyms
 decreased slightly to just below 7000 in 2015.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
rate
Use synonyms
 declined significantly to under 1000 between 2015 and 2016. During the next
Use synonyms
year
Add a comma
,year
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 there was a significant rise to approximately 5000. Unfortunately, the next
year
Use synonyms
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
shop
Use synonyms
closures
Use synonyms
 decreased slightly.
Finally
Linking Words
, there was a slight increase in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
shop
Use synonyms
closures
Use synonyms
 in
one
Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
. When it comes to
shop
Use synonyms
openings
Use synonyms
, there were just below 9000
shop
Use synonyms
openings
Use synonyms
 in
one
Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
 in 2011. From 2011 to 2012,
this
Linking Words
rate
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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significantly declined to 4000. The next
year
Use synonyms
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
shop
Use synonyms
openings
Use synonyms
 increased significantly to about 6000. But
this
Linking Words
rate
Use synonyms
 was a noticeable decline to 4000 between 2014 and 2015. During the next
year
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
rate
Use synonyms
 did not change. From 2016 to 2017, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
shop
Use synonyms
openings
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 increased slightly to over 4000. By the end of the
year
Use synonyms
,
shop
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openings
Use synonyms
 had declined
noticeable
Change the adjective
noticeably
show examples
 to 3000 in
one
Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
Submitted by islomov1229 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words one, country, shop, openings, closures, number, year, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • decline
  • surge
  • stabilize
  • correlation
  • economic conditions
  • consumer behavior
  • technological advancements
  • urban development
  • employment
  • retail sector
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