In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard ?

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It is true that some people tend to be hard-working and make extra effort in their institutes,
while
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others feel it is unnecessary to do that. There could be various reasons to prove these different attitudes.
However
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, it can
also
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be argued how often hard
work
Use synonyms
can be beneficial.In
this
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,essay I will discuss answers to both questions.
To begin
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with,
life
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is a competition where folks need to
work
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hard to achieve their goals.
Moreover
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, a person who sets a target for themselves always has a progressive motive that forces them to
work
Use synonyms
more than others in their respective field. These people tend to get a standing position in society.
For instance
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, a friend in my high school usually spends most of his time concentrating on his studies to get a scholarship, which is a dream of many pupils in school.
As a result
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,
this
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exhaustive study habit led him to get a full scholarship at New York City University. It is a fact that hard
work
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is considered the best to help employees succeed in their careers.In
this
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rival world, if we wish for a higher position,
as a consequence
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we must
work
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one’s fingers to the bone.
Therefore
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, residents who spend more time in study or employment are likely to succeed in all platforms compared to others in the field. Case in point, one of my father’s friend's companies carried out KPIs ( key performance indicators) for all sections.
Consequently
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, now being monitored by these KPIs.
In addition
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,
due to
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his hard ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
work
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he had attained two job promotions in a year’s time.
To conclude
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, in
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this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
modern
life
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, the most common paraphrase we hear is working hard whether you are studying or working.
Therefore
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, it is mandatory for us if we want to win the race of
this
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highly difficult
life
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. We should
work
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harder to attain our desired goals in
life
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.
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on

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task response
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides relevant examples, but the ideas are not fully developed or explained. Try to elaborate on your points to provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and it is generally well-organized. However, there is room for improvement in linking your ideas within and between paragraphs to enhance coherence.
lexical resource
You have used a range of vocabulary, but there are instances of wordiness and awkward phrasing. Try to use more precise and concise language to improve the lexical resource.
grammatical range
Your essay demonstrates a varied use of grammar structures, but there are errors in sentence structure, verb tense, and word choice. Focus on using more complex sentence structures and proofread for grammatical accuracy.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Work ethic
  • Upbringing
  • Cultural values
  • Ambitions
  • Motivated
  • Fear of failure
  • Competitive nature
  • Overworking
  • Burnout
  • Stress-related health issues
  • Productivity
  • Quality of life
  • Healthy balance
  • Long-term productivity
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