IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The top priority of bussinesses is making money, and they do not need to have social resonsibilities. To what extend do you argee or disargee?

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The majority of people believe that the main authority of economic function is general profits so they do not compulsory to have public responsibilities.
While
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 I accept
this
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 perception is somewhat justifiable, I believe that businesses
also
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 need to contribute to social activities. On the one hand, businesses play an important role in the development economy. Nowadays, business careers accounted multi-section of employers started up.
Furthermore
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, the business’s main emission is making a profit and grasping the economic market.
For instance
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, they have to stabilize security and assess share so that the economic market will be balanced in prices. Not only do they do that, but
also
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 they must develop and improve their company even though they trying to inhibit inflation.
On the other hand
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, companies should not run with the sole aim of investing income; they have a wider role to play in the nation. One social obligation that owners and managers have is to treat their employees well, rather than make them tooled workers. That means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they must improve their staff life by paying a wage for their personnel. What is more, they
also
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 ordain several advantage prerogatives or give them a free cure by medical card.
For example
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, more companies usually organize charity funds for unemployed or poor people.
That is
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 a contribution to society.
Thus
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, their life was improved consequentially. In conclusion,
while
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 I agree that maximizing revenue is the key factor
that is
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 compulsory for each corporation’s prosperity, I would contend that social accountability should
also
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 be encouraged simultaneously.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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