Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their jobs because of it.

As time goes by, online shopping is gaining popularity.
However
, there is growing debate over whether online shopping is good or not for people and the environment. In my opinion, online shopping has advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, the quality of human life has increased significantly by online shopping,
such
as Amazon. Because of convenience and simplicity.
Above all
, people can save a lot of energy and time by using online shopping.
According to
a survey, the number of online shopping users increased exponentially between 2010 and 2022.
This
data reflects the critical impact of online shopping.
On the other hand
, online shopping has disadvantages as well. There is no denying that
due to
the development of online services, the range of transportation became active. Because the more customers purchase goods or items online, the more manufacturers use a wide range of transportation for quick services.
Therefore
, the natural environment can be polluted by toxic emissions from cars, planes and ships.
For example
,
such
as Alibaba and Amazon are working on the process in order to realize the scale of the economy by combining online networks and they are planning to replace their factory system with a robot automation system. In the end, many employees might be fired and a lot of jobs would be disappearing. Because many companies always want to operate it efficiently. The results came from the benefits of online shopping. In summary,
this
tendency might be controversial for some people and for the reasons above, the public still argues that
this
change is going to be truly meaningful and helpful for individuals and associations.
Submitted by ryujaekwang0928 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are vital parts of your essay, and you should ensure they are clear and fully encapsulate your main points. Make your thesis statement more explicit in the introduction, and ensure your conclusion summarizes your arguments without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
While you did provide some support for your main points, you could improve by incorporating more specific and detailed examples. These help to illustrate your points and give your arguments greater weight and authenticity.
task achievement
You have addressed most of the topics' elements in your response; however, there's room to expand on the impacts. Clearly state how these impacts relate to the specifics of the essay question, making sure each point you introduce is fully developed and explained.
task achievement
The ideas presented are relevant, though at times they could be more comprehensive. Ensure that you elaborate on each point, providing clear explanations and examining the implications or consequences related to your statements.
task achievement
Make sure to incorporate relevant and specific examples that directly support the topic. The examples you choose should clearly demonstrate the environmental impact of online shopping and its effects on employment. Provide concrete statistics or cases where possible to substantiate your claims.

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