Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their jobs because of it.

As time goes by, online shopping is gaining popularity.

However

, there is growing debate over whether online shopping is good or not for people and the environment. In my opinion, online shopping has advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, the quality of human life has increased significantly by online shopping,

such

as Amazon. Because of convenience and simplicity.

Above all

, people can save a lot of energy and time by using online shopping.

According to

a survey, the number of online shopping users increased exponentially between 2010 and 2022.

This

data reflects the critical impact of online shopping.

On the other hand

, online shopping has disadvantages as well. There is no denying that

due to

the development of online services, the range of transportation became active. Because the more customers purchase goods or items online, the more manufacturers use a wide range of transportation for quick services.

Therefore

, the natural environment can be polluted by toxic emissions from cars, planes and ships.

For example

such

as Alibaba and Amazon are working on the process in order to realize the scale of the economy by combining online networks and they are planning to replace their factory system with a robot automation system. In the end, many employees might be fired and a lot of jobs would be disappearing. Because many companies always want to operate it efficiently. The results came from the benefits of online shopping. In summary,

this

tendency might be controversial for some people and for the reasons above, the public still argues that

this

change is going to be truly meaningful and helpful for individuals and associations.

Submitted by ryujaekwang0928 on Wed Jul 26 2023

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coherence cohesion

To improve your logical structure, it's important to ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Use a variety of linking words and organize your ideas in a more systematic way, so that each paragraph builds upon the last.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are vital parts of your essay, and you should ensure they are clear and fully encapsulate your main points. Make your thesis statement more explicit in the introduction, and ensure your conclusion summarizes your arguments without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

While you did provide some support for your main points, you could improve by incorporating more specific and detailed examples. These help to illustrate your points and give your arguments greater weight and authenticity.

task achievement

You have addressed most of the topics' elements in your response; however, there's room to expand on the impacts. Clearly state how these impacts relate to the specifics of the essay question, making sure each point you introduce is fully developed and explained.

task achievement

The ideas presented are relevant, though at times they could be more comprehensive. Ensure that you elaborate on each point, providing clear explanations and examining the implications or consequences related to your statements.

task achievement

Make sure to incorporate relevant and specific examples that directly support the topic. The examples you choose should clearly demonstrate the environmental impact of online shopping and its effects on employment. Provide concrete statistics or cases where possible to substantiate your claims.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their jobs because of it.

Your opinion

The government pay tution fees for the university students. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays automation is being used to drive cars. Why do you think this is happening? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that buildings such as flats and houses should be designed to last a long time Others belive that it is more important to provide accommodation quickly and cheaply Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that the only way to judge someone’s success in business is by amount of money they make. Is money a true indicator of the success of a business? In what other ways could success in a business be measured?