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Writing Samples /
Band 6

These days consumers are faced with an increasing amount of advertising from various companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertising? What measures should be taken to protect them?

#consumers #amount #companies #measures
In
this
 day and age, advertising has become increasingly pervasive,
such
 criticisms notwithstanding,
this
 presence is
compell
Correct your spelling
compelling
 in the modern world. In my opinion, I contend to think that
this
 kind of marketing should be strictly regulated in place to ensure it does not overly invasive. As a matter of fact, advertising is allowed to become widespread
does
Correct word choice
and does
show examples
 not happen without dramatically affect on
people
's lives.
It is clear that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 has reached a state of
prevailence
Correct your spelling
prevalence
prevalent
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 every
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
, yet
such
 potential risks appear. When
people
browses
Change the verb form
browse
show examples
 the internet for research, they do not aware of
openning
Correct your spelling
opening
 the door for companies to invade their information,
hence
, businesses could tap into new customers' basis.
Also
, it is followed by the appearance of advertisements potentially
flow
Wrong verb form
flowing
show examples
, or worse,
distract
Wrong verb form
distracting
show examples
people
 from the information they originally need.
Consequently
, advertising can be considered as annoying, manipulative and even dangerous.
Furthermore
, it can bombard us with misleading claims, and exploit our fears and insecurities. In order to guarantee advertising does not pose a threat to society at large, it should be strictly regulated by the state. To cite
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
prime examples, companies that manufacture
productions
Replace the word
products
show examples
 which are naturally addictive to humans,
such
 as junk foods, fast foods, etc,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
often aim advertising at the most vulnerable segments of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society including young children or obesities. It is
therefore
 that authorities had better stringently legislated
certain
Correct word choice
that certain
show examples
audience
Fix the agreement mistake
audiences
show examples
 cannot be targeted.
Lastly
, the
goverments
Correct your spelling
government
governments
 should ban laws for the buyers' privacy rights, which organisations are not permitted to
accessing
Wrong verb form
access
show examples
 clients' confidential information.
To sum up
, advertising is pervasive in
people
's lives,
thus
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 would play a pivotal role in addressing
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 issues by stringent laws.
Submitted by anhthu3826 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brand awareness
  • Brand loyalty
  • Emotional appeals
  • Celebrity endorsements
  • Exaggerate
  • Purchase decisions
  • Data analytics
  • Stricter regulations
  • Honesty and transparency
  • Critical thinking
  • Media literacy
  • False advertising
  • Consumer protection agencies
  • Grievances
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