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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph compares how much time it would take for three companies to manufacture a refrigerator in 1990 and 2000.

The line graph compares how much time it would take for three companies to manufacture a refrigerator in 1990 and 2000.
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The line chart illustrates how long it took three enterprises to produce a refrigerator from 1990 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, all three companies saw a decline in
time
Use synonyms
 spent on making a
fridge
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of 2000.
Company
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 still spent the longest
time
Use synonyms
 in the
time
Use synonyms
 period,
while
Linking Words
 the amount of
time
Use synonyms
 spent by
Company
Use synonyms
 B was nearly unchanged. At the beginning of the period,
Company
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 took 35
hours
Use synonyms
 to build a
fridge
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
Company
Use synonyms
 A and
Company
Use synonyms
 B took 5
hours
Use synonyms
 and 8
hours
Use synonyms
 less respectively to build one.
Then
Linking Words
,
Company
Use synonyms
 A passed
Use synonyms
company
Capitalize word
Company
show examples
 B in 1995 and later became the fastest
company
Use synonyms
 among all three companies in manufacturing refrigerators. By 2000,
Company
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 was still the slowest
company
Use synonyms
 to produce a
fridge
Use synonyms
 but decreased by 7
hours
Use synonyms
 of producing
time
Use synonyms
 compared to the beginning of the period.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Company
Use synonyms
 A became the fastest
company
Use synonyms
 since 1995, spending approximately 22
hours
Use synonyms
 per refrigerator, which was 8
hours
Use synonyms
 less than in 1995.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
time
Use synonyms
 to produce a
fridge
Use synonyms
 in
Company
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 almost remained stable, taking 26
hours
Use synonyms
 to make one.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, fridge, company, c, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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