Some people think government should lower the expenditure on arts in order to allocate more money to education. To what extent do you agree?

#people #government #expenditure #arts #money #education

Nowadays, many

indisviduals

Correct your spelling

individuals

claim that

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

show examples

should spend less

money

on arts in order to increase spending amount of

money

education

. From my perspective,

this

idea makes sense. So, in

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will

further

explore

this

thought-provoking issue. On the one hand,

art

important

Add an article

an important

the important

show examples

thing in every culture.

To begin

with,

art

can express the local culture, represents the core ideas,purposes and so on.

As a result

Add an article

the authority

show examples

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

show examples

found different museums and all others similar things in order to support ethical values.

Also

, today many countries invest

money

Change preposition

show examples

modern

art

For instance

, they encourage local artists. Construct different exhibition zones. These things are making for

people

's self-development, for relaxation and so on.

However

, some individuals argued that modern

art

in some cases is

eyesore

Correct article usage

an eyesore

show examples

and meaningless.

On the other hand

, it is

Change the article

apply

show examples

evident that

education

ovewheight

Correct your spelling

overweight

art

Change preposition

for

show examples

various reasons.

Firstly

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

has to be concerned about

literacy

Correct article usage

the literacy

show examples

rate of their nation.

Moreover

, without intelligence

people

country will not become a superpower and cutting-edge.

Furthermore

, in

general

Add a comma

,general

show examples

education

gives you more opportunities than any other

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

show examples

. In conclusion, investing in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

education

has more overwhelming results

comparing

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

arts

Correct article usage

the arts

show examples

Thus

, the government should

shrugged

Change the verb form

shrug

show examples

expendenture

Correct your spelling

expenditure

art

and allocate it

Change preposition

show examples

education

programs.

Firstly

, as a matter of

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fact for

people

Add a comma

,people

show examples

it will be more useful and beneficial.

Secondly

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

show examples

can be self-sufficient and earn

money

by themselves.

Moreover

, there are many

people

who like

art

and they are ready to donate tremendous sums

Change preposition

for

show examples

artist’s masterpieces.

Nevertheless

, there are many families which cannot provide their children

good

Change preposition

with good

show examples

quality

education

Submitted by slobodanatol83 on Wed Jul 26 2023

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think government should lower the expenditure on arts in order to allocate more money to education. To what extent do you agree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that the only reason for learning foreign languages is in order to travel or to work in foreign country. Others say that this is not the only reason why someone learn foreign language.

In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicant for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages togeather. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many businesses think that the new employees who have just graduated from schools lack interpersonal skills, such as working with colleagues as a team. What has caused this and what are the solutions to this problem?