In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. nA ation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Population ageing has always remained a controversial topic across the globe
due to
the negative impacts on the government's budget for public healthcare
services
. From my perspective, the view that citizens should have responsibility for paying for their healthcare
needs in the future has both benefits and drawbacks.
To begin
with, the regulation of the resident's proactively spending on their healthcare
services
will have significant effects on citizens and the government. Initially
, in modern lifestyles, individuals always prioritise health
issues and are willing to expenditure on medical examination services
. Obviously, self-payment for health
problems facilitates the masses access the top-notch services
and maintain good health
without depending on a lot of state policy. Furthermore
, the pressure on the cost of public healthcare
in the country will be considerably reduced. As a result
, they can allocate appropriate their budget to various aspects such
as education, economics, or the military.
On the flip side, I argue that the healthcare
provision not free for the residents will lead to the disadvantages in taking care of health
. Firstly
, this
policy may create barriers for the underprivileged in accessing modern treatments. For example
, the poor or disabled will find it difficult to go to the hospital for a health
check-up although
they have social insurance. It is clear that
they are the most vulnerable group in society owing to the fact that they are less able to work to earn money than others . Therefore
, applying this
regulation will cause direct struggles for the need to ensure good health
.
In conclusion, fast ageing speed brings many difficulties for both the government and citizens in approaching and providing good healthcare
provision. However
, it is essential for policymakers to have strategies to guarantee for development of a healthy community.Submitted by quynhtranhbh on
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Task Achievement
For task achievement, ensure that your argument fully addresses all parts of the task. Consider expanding on how individual payment for healthcare could affect societal equality and elaborate on alternative solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on strengthening the logical flow between paragraphs by making more explicit connections between your main points. This can be achieved by using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words.
Task Achievement
Incorporating more specific examples or data to support your arguments could enhance the persuasiveness of your essay. This would provide concrete evidence to back up your main points.
Positive Aspect
Your essay provides a balanced view on the topic, considering both the advantages and disadvantages of individuals paying for their healthcare, which is commendable.
Positive Aspect
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which encapsulates your viewpoint effectively, contributing positively to the overall structure of your essay.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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