In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. nA ation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Population ageing has always remained a controversial topic across the globe

due to

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the negative impacts on the government's budget for public

healthcare

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services

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. From my perspective, the view that citizens should have responsibility for paying for their

healthcare

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needs in the future has both benefits and drawbacks.

To begin

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with, the regulation of the resident's proactively spending on their

healthcare

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services

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will have significant effects on citizens and the government.

Initially

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, in modern lifestyles, individuals always prioritise

health

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issues and are willing to expenditure on medical examination

services

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. Obviously, self-payment for

health

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problems facilitates the masses access the top-notch

services

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and maintain good

health

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without depending on a lot of state policy.

Furthermore

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, the pressure on the cost of public

healthcare

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in the country will be considerably reduced.

As a result

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, they can allocate appropriate their budget to various aspects

such

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as education, economics, or the military. On the flip side, I argue that the

healthcare

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provision not free for the residents will lead to the disadvantages in taking care of

health

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Firstly

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this

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policy may create barriers for the underprivileged in accessing modern treatments.

For example

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, the poor or disabled will find it difficult to go to the hospital for a

health

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check-up

although

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they have social insurance.

It is clear that

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they are the most vulnerable group in society owing to the fact that they are less able to work to earn money than others .

Therefore

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, applying

this

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regulation will cause direct struggles for the need to ensure good

health

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. In conclusion, fast ageing speed brings many difficulties for both the government and citizens in approaching and providing good

healthcare

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provision.

However

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, it is essential for policymakers to have strategies to guarantee for development of a healthy community.

quynhtranhbhMon Apr 08 2024

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Task Achievement

For task achievement, ensure that your argument fully addresses all parts of the task. Consider expanding on how individual payment for healthcare could affect societal equality and elaborate on alternative solutions.

Coherence and Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, work on strengthening the logical flow between paragraphs by making more explicit connections between your main points. This can be achieved by using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words.

Task Achievement

Incorporating more specific examples or data to support your arguments could enhance the persuasiveness of your essay. This would provide concrete evidence to back up your main points.

Positive Aspect

Your essay provides a balanced view on the topic, considering both the advantages and disadvantages of individuals paying for their healthcare, which is commendable.

Positive Aspect

You have a clear introduction and conclusion which encapsulates your viewpoint effectively, contributing positively to the overall structure of your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. nA ation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

2.Some high school leavers tent to travel or work while before going to university directly. What do you think are the advantages more than disadvantages?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarcric. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourits who visit such places?

Your co-worker Irena Black wants to have a meeting with you on Tuesday afternoon. Write an email to Irena Black. In your email: Explain why you can’t meet her on Tuesday afternoon Offer to meet her on a different day Ask her what the meeting is about Try to write a minimum of 50 words

Many parents today organise extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends. Do you feel that this is a worthwhile thing to do or you feel children have enough education at school?

Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful, but they are also likely to suffer from negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?