IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that team sports are very important for children to succeed in their career, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #team #sports #children #career
In the modern era, the
majority
 of students are occupied with their academic lives and find little
time
 for external
sports
 activities, which are vital to their
overall
 development.Some individuals believe that it is imperative that children participate in club athletics,
while
 others disagree.In
this
 essay, I will examine both perspectives and offer my opinion.
Initially
, athletics is essential to the physical and mental development of children. To live a happy and successful life in a world where the
majority
 of adolescents remain indoors after school or spend the
majority
 of their
time
 on mobile devices or viewing television, thereby negatively affecting their health, is to engage in some form of athletic activity. Group
sports
 teach them how to collaborate in a club setting.
In addition
, they have the opportunity to develop leadership abilities by serving as
team
 leaders.
Lastly
, how to motivate
team
 members in low morale situations and maintain
team
 coordination. In a recent survey conducted by the
sports
 council of India, it was found that teenagers who perform
sports
 concurrently with their education have greater stamina, focus, and concentration than their peers. Opponents of group
sports
,
on the other hand
, argue that there is no need for group
sports
 because it is a waste of
time
 that could be spent on the academic front.
Then
, sometimes the leader always receives recognition for the
team
's
overall
 performance, and talented youths are never given the opportunity to advance.
In addition
, they lose their study focus and spend the
majority
 of their
time
 performing
sports
. In conclusion, after weighing the pros and cons, I am of the opinion that club
sports
 are crucial to the success of children's careers and that they should participate in some form of physical activity.
Submitted by yavari1993 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: