Government should spend more money on medical research and less on researching the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people nowadays believe that the state should spend less funds on researching the
environment
and more on medical research.
This
essay disagrees with
this
statement because studying different aspects of
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
could help prevent and find cures for different varieties of diseases.
To begin
with, it is noticeable that by improving the
environment
, the effects of many diseases would be less destructive and some of them could be prevented before going viral.
For example
, one of the main reasons for lung cancer
this days
Change the determiner
this day
these days
show examples
is air pollution which is caused by jungles getting wiped out by natural and human causes.
Furthermore
, many governments have tried to put a stop to
this
by researching how to revive the lost jungles with the help of
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
scientists.
Nonetheless
,
this
important act showed its result with the number of lung cancer patients getting lower within 5 years.
Moreover
, the other worth mentioning reason is that many of the elements needed for medical research can be found in the
environment
around us.
Nevertheless
, these elements would be needed to find a cure for many illnesses
such
as the bird flu.
For instance
, 5 decades ago
this
flu was a major problem in all countries
however
, a group of researchers
along with
help from the British government ,figured out that
this
sickness could be cured with a vaccine made out of a very rare bacteria which could be found in some specific rain forests. Because of
this
, the bird flu is now cured. In conclusion, the outcome of spending both money and time on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
is unquestionably worth it.
Submitted by mhosseinnaseri14 on

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task achievement
Clarify and articulate your main points more distinctly. While your argument is present, sharper statements could enhance its impact.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of sentence structures and transitional phrases to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your introduction and conclusion by clearly restating your position and summarizing your argument more powerfully.

Your opinion

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