In some countries, online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Everybody knows that
technology
makes our life easy. Online shopping is very common nowadays. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
we live in modern times not antic times. İn the internet have some application
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
shopping many
people
like using the shop
centre
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the internet.
However
, some
people
like
go
Change the form of the verb
going
show examples
to buy in the
shop
Replace the word
shopping
show examples
centre
on the street that's why, we couldn't say online shopping makes a positive development. İt is dependent
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
akourdin
Change the capitalization
Akourdin
show examples
online
shop
Replace the word
shopping
show examples
centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
show examples
or
stores
. We can
explanation
Replace the word
explain
show examples
it
different
Change preposition
in different
show examples
ways. On the one hand, online shopping is very useful. Because, it gives us time, many chusing some
tihingor
Correct your spelling
things
we can find a chip or good quality in the online shopping. That's why, we need it too much. Tany
country
contest in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online shopping. We are living the
technology
, İf we
towant
Correct your spelling
want
earn
money
and make our
country
powerful we have to use it.
for instance
, some engineers buy
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one machine
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
job in Alibaba ablucatatin. They can find the machine very easily and cheaply. Alibaba's ablucatation from Chine and his
money
went to the
country
. The example shows us if we have a good online shopping
centre
we can earn
money
in all countries.
On the other hand
, online shopping has negative development. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
we have many
stores
on the street or mall. The
stores
have many workers and they
toneed
Correct your spelling
need
earn
money
for their live.
However
, they live creuse when online shopping is common.
For example
, many
shose
Correct your spelling
shoe
shoes
stores
closed day by day. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
buy
shose
Correct your spelling
shoes
those
on Internet. İt is showing us online shopping makes negative develop.
To sum up
, online shopping has a good side and
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
side it depends according what side you look
.
Change preposition
at.
show examples
İn my opinion, we live
technology
time, many
people
do not have time to buy. We should use it. İf we have
technology
's power our
country
gonna be powerful. ,İf we do not use it other
country
Change the wording
countries
show examples
earn our
money
.
Submitted by ares.grup on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: