IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #stores #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Everybody knows that
technology
Use synonyms
 makes our life easy. Online shopping is very common nowadays. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 we live in modern times not antic times. İn the internet have some application
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 shopping many
people
Use synonyms
 like using the shop
centre
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 like
go
Change the form of the verb
going
show examples
 to buy in the
shop
Replace the word
shopping
show examples
centre
Use synonyms
 on the street that's why, we couldn't say online shopping makes a positive development. İt is dependent
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
akourdin
Change the capitalization
Akourdin
show examples
 online
shop
Replace the word
shopping
show examples
Use synonyms
centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
show examples
 or
stores
Use synonyms
. We can
explanation
Replace the word
explain
show examples
 it
different
Change preposition
in different
show examples
 ways. On the one hand, online shopping is very useful. Because, it gives us time, many chusing some
tihingor
Correct your spelling
things
 we can find a chip or good quality in the online shopping. That's why, we need it too much. Tany
country
Use synonyms
 contest in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online shopping. We are living the
technology
Use synonyms
, İf we
towant
Correct your spelling
want
 earn
money
Use synonyms
 and make our
country
Use synonyms
 powerful we have to use it.
for instance
Linking Words
, some engineers buy
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one machine
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 job in Alibaba ablucatatin. They can find the machine very easily and cheaply. Alibaba's ablucatation from Chine and his
money
Use synonyms
 went to the
country
Use synonyms
. The example shows us if we have a good online shopping
centre
Use synonyms
 we can earn
money
Use synonyms
 in all countries.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, online shopping has negative development. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 we have many
stores
Use synonyms
 on the street or mall. The
stores
Use synonyms
 have many workers and they
toneed
Correct your spelling
need
 earn
money
Use synonyms
 for their live.
However
Linking Words
, they live creuse when online shopping is common.
For example
Linking Words
, many
shose
Correct your spelling
shoe
shoes
stores
Use synonyms
 closed day by day. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 buy
shose
Correct your spelling
shoes
those
 on Internet. İt is showing us online shopping makes negative develop.
To sum up
Linking Words
, online shopping has a good side and
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 side it depends according what side you look
.
Change preposition
at.
show examples
 İn my opinion, we live
technology
Use synonyms
 time, many
people
Use synonyms
 do not have time to buy. We should use it. İf we have
technology
Use synonyms
's power our
country
Use synonyms
 gonna be powerful. ,İf we do not use it other
Use synonyms
country
Change the wording
countries
show examples
 earn our
money
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ares.grup on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unparalleled convenience
  • remote areas
  • wide range of products
  • broad selection
  • price comparison
  • customer satisfaction
  • value for money
  • impact on local businesses
  • economic diversity
  • job losses
  • environmental implications
  • packaging waste
  • carbon emissions
  • carbon footprint
  • data privacy
  • cybersecurity
  • personal data
  • tactile shopping experience
  • immediate gratification
  • physically examined
  • robust measures
  • consumer information
What to do next:
Look at other essays: