New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

#technologies #lives #consumers

There is a belief among some individuals that advancements in technology

transforms

Change the verb form

transform

show examples

the lives of consumers in the ways of buying and selling. I firmly believe

this

notion and

this

essay endeavors to explore

this

. New technologies made some changes in the sector of buying and selling. With the improvements in these technologies, now everything is facilitated. These innovations caused the opening of

myriad

Add an article

a myriad

the myriad

show examples

of social platforms. These particular platforms made trading, selling, and advertising convenient,

this

, in turn, attracted

people

. As

people

prefer to sell on online markets,

this

made

people

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

buy online rather than going to shop.

For example

, Shopify, which is a dropshipping website, announced that it doubled the number of online shops in the

last

year. We should

also

acknowledge the outcomes of

this

approach. First of all, it limited the communication abilities of

people

. As

people

do their shopping from online shops, there is no need to walk or go to the store, rather than just decreasing sociality it

also

increased overweightness among

people

. The fact that to do shopping, one should know at least a little bit

Change preposition

about

show examples

how to use a gadget,

this

fact worried

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

elderly

people

. The US reported the obesity rate,

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

showed an increase of 25

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

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in the

last

two

decade

Fix the agreement mistake

decades

show examples

thus

showing

potential

Correct article usage

the potential

show examples

drawback

Fix the agreement mistake

drawbacks

show examples

of advancement in technology. To put everything in a nutshell,

while

buying and selling online offers numerous advantages, we should

also

acknowledge the potential drawbacks of

this

While

with online strategies it is easy to do shopping, it decreases the sociality among

people

. Striking an equilibrium between the online and traditional methods of buying and selling will make all age groups satisfied.

Submitted by tukezaliyeva96 on Thu Jul 27 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

transforming
consumers
buying and selling
new technologies
revolutionized
consumer experience
e-commerce
convenience
range of options
mobile payment systems
transactions
challenges

What to do next:

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New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

easily. In addition, the city is central to the state, trade, education and many sectors of the human being so society tends to find new experiences and broaden their horizon in the metropolitan which supports people’s capability at work.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Weddings are getting bigger and more expensive. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?