At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantage of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is true that the majority of citizens in some
countries
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
mostly young
adults
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, compared with the
number
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of older
people
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. It is my belief that the positive effects of
this
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trend could certainly offset the disadvantages. There are several drawbacks
of
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to
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having a relatively large
number
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of teenagers. One obvious disadvantage is that the competitive rate
at
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in
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these
countries
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is significantly high.
This
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is because of the huge
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number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
young population,
young
Capitalize word
Young
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adults
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in these
countries
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have to face
with
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apply
show examples
a lot of pressures
such
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as entrance
exam
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exams
show examples
,
find
Correct word choice
and find
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a
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apply
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work
while
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there are lots of
people
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at
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apply
show examples
their same age
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
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better than them.
At
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As
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a result, teenagers often have some mental health problems when they can have peer pressure everywhere and every day. One good illustration is the "gaokao" exam that every Chinese student has to face
with
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apply
show examples
at the end
Linking Words
of high school to enter university is one of the toughest
exam
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exams
show examples
in the world with high pressure.
However
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, there are certain benefits that
young
Correct article usage
the young
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population could
brings
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bring
show examples
about.
To begin
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with, some
countries
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have more human resources when they have a lot of young
people
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.
This
Linking Words
is because young
adults
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can work
while
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the elders may not be able to work
due to
Linking Words
their health. There will be more talented young
people
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in different fields
such
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as Arts, music, mathematics, biology and so on. It can help these
countries
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develop and rises GDP. Another positive effect is that there are more new ideas and innovations in these
countries
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. The reason is
because
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that
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most
of
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apply
show examples
youngsters are creative and energetic at
this
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ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
,
they
Correct word choice
and they
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also
Linking Words
have their own aspirations.
For instance
Linking Words
, a lot of technological innovations were made by young
people
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during
Covid-19
Correct article usage
the Covid-19
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pandemic to fight against
this
Linking Words
disease. In conclusion, the potential benefits of having a relatively large
number
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of young
adults
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are more worthwhile than the possible dangers.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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