Many scientists believe that seeking out life by sending messages into space is a good idea while others feel that it is dangerous. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is undeniable that in
this
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era of sciences, life become more convenient to connect with than ever.
However
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, several researchers argue that it is a crucial point to search for
space
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by sending messages. Despite others saying
this
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situation causes some issues. Ergo,
this
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essay will delve both arguments into the phenomenon, by providing relevant examples and insights. On the one hand, there are numerous benefits which are directly linked to
this
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alarming case. First and foremost positive is that advanced technology. What is more, individuals expand to learn more about
space
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by discovering life outside the Earth. To demonstrate more, later a study conducted by the University of Nizwa in 2024 showed there was a great life between stars in the
last
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decade. Sequentially, several scientists tried to visit
this
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site by supporting certain initiatives to survive in
space
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. Meanwhile, hard competition encourages
countries
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to cooperate together. A report by UNESCO survey illustrates China, Japan, and American
countries
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work hard together to create a specialized trip to
space
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.
Thus
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,
countries
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boost
this
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sound idea to development.
On the other hand
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, there are a few people who believe
this
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trend has a variety of issues for individuals.
Firstly
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, messages will appear with some secrets about communities.
As a result
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,
this
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risk can lead to numerous problems,
for example
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, every country has policy rules to save them.
Moreover
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, advanced development can form cutthroat dangers. A clear example is the Omani Educational Associate indicated that 85% of news can be known by globalization which competes among
countries
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. In fact,
this
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event shattered the system of the city. In conclusion, no doubt in
this
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era of neck-to-neck competition, residents have several skills to improve in whole fields without showing a secret system which leads to numerous problems for
countries
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, these can be lessened by some immediate steps by the government and citizens.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction sets the context well but could be clearer with a more defined thesis statement. Consider clearly stating your opinion in your introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to provide a more logical flow between ideas and paragraphs. Some connections feel abrupt, making it harder to follow the argument. Transition words can enhance this.
Task Achievement
Ensure that all main points are thoroughly developed and supported with relevant examples. Some points seem underdeveloped or vague.
Coherence and Cohesion
Revisit your conclusion to reinforce your opinion more strongly and summarize the key points discussed. It should feel decisive and conclusive instead of posing additional questions.
Task Achievement
You demonstrated an understanding of both viewpoints regarding sending messages into space.
Task Achievement
Your use of examples like the study from the University of Nizwa adds credibility to your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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