IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

#educationalists #exchange #visits #benefit #teenagers #school
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
International
Use synonyms
students
Change the noun form
student
show examples
exchange
Use synonyms
 is considered one of the main features of a developed educational system in a country and a main
detirminant
Correct your spelling
determinant
determinants
 of universities' and schools' ranking. The
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 of
exchange
Use synonyms
 programs are not limited to the university itself
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but are extended to help
students
Use synonyms
 discover new countries, where they can get in touch with new cultures, be involved in new traditions, and make international connections that could help them in the future.
Additionally
Linking Words
, seeing how different people are in other countries
helpd
Correct your spelling
helped
help
helps
broadining
Correct your spelling
broadening
 the aspects and aspirations of
students
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
 contributing
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 building a more tolerant generation.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a new culture, new place to sleep in, and new people to meet could rise the stress levels of a teenager, who has just started to develop an independent personality, not
mentioning
Change the verb form
to mention
show examples
 being always homesick, a thing that I can personally relate to as a
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
 student. Being instantly
transfered
Correct your spelling
transferred
 to a new country, with different
tranditions
Correct your spelling
traditions
transitions
 and
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of life could to cultural shock, and sometimes
exchange
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 can't handle the experience and prefer returning home.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, the advantages
in
Add the comma(s)
, in this case,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 case outweigh the disadvantages to a great level, a fact we can see in the increasing numbers of
exchange
Use synonyms
 programs and the countries included in them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many of the
modern-world's
Correct your spelling
modern world's
show examples
 projects are built and directed toward cultural
exchange
Use synonyms
, like international Expos and conferences, other than the internet, which is the virtual version of
exchange
Use synonyms
 programs and is being currently used by billions of teenagers around the world. All in all, we are looking
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a new generation
that is
Linking Words
 more tolerant, more open-minded and ready to explore the world.
Submitted by aleskovamaria02 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • educationalists
  • international exchange visits
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • outweigh
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • school
  • exposes
  • different cultures
  • perspectives
  • enhances
  • language skills
  • promotes
  • independence
  • self-confidence
  • builds
  • lifelong friendships
  • provides
  • unique learning experiences
  • expensive
  • homesickness
  • emotional distress
  • careful planning
  • logistical arrangements
  • disrupt
  • academic progress
  • safety
  • security risks
  • cultural appropriation
  • misunderstandings
What to do next:
Look at other essays: