Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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Nowadays, many youngers waste their

time

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smartphones

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nearly every day. Because they have no

interests

Fix the agreement mistake

interest

show examples

doing

Change preposition

in doing

show examples

anything and

also

Linking Words

children

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do not

any

Add a missing verb

do any

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housework, if adults do not manage

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them.

This

Linking Words

means that they are addicted to their phone. As far as I am concerned,

this

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is a negative development. Because several renegers spend their much

time

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this

Linking Words

technology.

On the other hand

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, there are too many modern technologies in the world and

smartphones

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are using a lot rather than others. Many people say that it is so beneficial for us.

However

Linking Words

, they do not show

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the smartphone

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smartphone

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smartphone's

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devastating side, and

also

Linking Words

they are being insensitive to their

children

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's upbringing.

Therefore

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, many

children

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spend their much

time

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smartphones

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In addition

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, they might lead to terrible ways.

For instance

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, pubg is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

very famous game around the world and plenty of

children

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play it nearly every day.

However

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, they do not know that

this

Linking Words

game takes

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

much

time

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This

Linking Words

means that many

children

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prefer virtual

life

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than

Change preposition

show examples

natural

life

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On the other hand

Linking Words

, spending many hours on

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smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

has many positive ways if renegers use

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

it correctly.

For example

Linking Words

, reading news, watching different languages of films and finding essential information on the

smartphone

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only bring

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

show examples

for them. Unfortunately, they are not using that from it. When it comes to the bad sides of

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smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

This

Linking Words

causes

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

many

youngers

Correct your spelling

younger

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forget how to live in natural

life

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, and

also

Linking Words

they cannot imagine their

life

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without that technology

and

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apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

situation has a big impact on

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their future. In conclusion,

smartphones

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take a lot of

time

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during the renegers career. It seems to me that it has plenty of harmful things on the phone. In short,

Use synonyms

children'spending

Correct your spelling

children spending

many hours on their

smartphone

Use synonyms

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is a negative development.

Submitted by islomov1229 on Thu Jul 27 2023

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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More and more people in the city live in small space and without outdoor space. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?

fossil fuels are the main sources in many countries, but in some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy are encouraged. To what extent do you think it is a positive or negative development ?

Some people believe that advertisements are useful for viewers, while others think that they are misleading and can't be trusted. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Studies show that many criminals have a low level of education. For this reason, people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison so they can know when they leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?