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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many people think that every individual is responsible for their own healthy lifestyle. Other believe that government should take care of it. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #lifestyle #government #care
Nowadays the majority of
people
 hold the opinion that a healthy lifestyle is the responsibility of every individual,
whereas
 others think that the state should take care of it. I totally agree that it is our own responsibility. The following essay takes a look at both sides of the argument. Many
people
 believe that they should take of themselves.
The healthy
Correct article usage
Healthy
show examples
 movement may include sports, walking, yoga or running. Obviously, physical activity helps to keep fit.
Moreover
, it includes a well-balanced low-fat diet. At the same time,
people
 should drink more water and stay hydrated. It is a discipline that every individual should have.
For example
, nobody could
not
Rewrite the sentence
apply
show examples
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
force others to keep a healthy lifestyle.
That is
 why it is the authority of individuals to keep a healthy movement. In some other cases, the government should provide areas for
people
 who want to do physical activities. It may be stadion, parks, treadmills and so on.
Also
, the state can provide it for free.
Furthermore
, they could make a variety of physical competitions with prizes. It will increase the interest of
people
 to take
a part
Correct your spelling
apart
show examples
.
For instance
, there is a marathon
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 all
people
 want to join. After that, maybe
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
people
 can make friends with
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 hobbies and keep their healthy movement together. In conclusion, individuals should take care of themselves because it is their own life and nobody can not change their opinion about lifestyle if they do not want to.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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