IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You recently purchased a new laptop online, but when it arrived, it was damaged. Write a letter of complaint to the company and. Explain why you are writing Describe the problem with the laptop State what you would like the company to do about it

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Dear laptop123, My name is Hieu. I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the recent purchase of a
laptop
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 from your online store. I want to change to another
laptop
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Unfortunately, upon its arrival, I discovered that the
laptop
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 was damaged. The packaging appeared to be intact, but upon opening it, I noticed visible signs of impact on the
laptop
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's exterior. The screen was cracked, and there were several dents on the body of the device.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
laptop
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is rendered unusable and falls greatly below my expectations. I kindly request that the company
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take

It seems that the verb takes does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
 immediate action to rectify
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 situation. I would appreciate a replacement
laptop
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of the same model in perfect condition sent to me as soon as possible.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I believe it is essential for the company to bear the cost of shipping for the return of the damaged
laptop
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Thank you for your attention to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 matter. Yours Sincerely, Hieu

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Complete Response
The letter effectively addressed all parts of the task, providing a clear explanation of the issue with the laptop and a specific request for resolution. However, make sure to include more specific details like order number or purchase date to strengthen your case.
Suitable Writing Tone
The tone of your letter is appropriately formal and polite, which is suitable for a complaint letter to a company.
Logical Structure
Each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, but ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next for optimal coherence.
Logical Structure
Your letter has a clear logical structure, beginning with an introduction, followed by a detailed description of the issue, and concluding with a specific request.
Greeting and Closing
The letter opens and closes with a polite greeting and closing that suits the formal tone required for this context.
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