All over the world, the number of overweight people is growing. What do you feel are the main causes of this? What are the effects?

The rate of obesity around the world has increased dramatically in recent years.
This
issue comes from many reasons, and it could bring about a wide range of impacts on human
life
as well.
This
essay will discuss the causes and effects of
this
trend.
With the
Change preposition
The
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development of the food industry,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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also
pulls
along with
the increase in junk foods. Because of the flexibility and good taste of
this
food, people are now having a tendency to depend on it.
According to
some recent research in the US, the number of fast-food stores has increased approximately 5 times higher than in the early 21st century.
Besides
that, teenagers are now addicted to the Internet and do not pay much attention to exercise.
Therefore
, junk food dependence grows in tandem with the laziness of the young generation is believed to be the two main causes of being overweight in today’s generation. Moving on to the second point,
it is clear that
obesity can cause many negative aspects, especially health issues.
For instance
, half of diabetes patients come from their overweight state before.
As a consequence
, the
life
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lives
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of these people could be much more miserable than before since they have to obey a strict diet.
Moreover
, the effects of overweight-caused disease might even reduce the general
life
expectancy.
Thus
,
this
is evident that
this
trend must be deterred to enhance the
life
quality of humanity. In short, the overweight phenomenon has strong negative effects on humanity.
However
,
this
problem can still be prevented by some immediate actions of the whole. The most practical way is to widely educate teenagers about
this
harm.
Submitted by nguyencamnhi on

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task response
Ensure that the main points are clearly presented and developed throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the connection between ideas and ensure a clear introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary and consider using more specific and precise language.
grammatical range
Use a wider variety of sentence structures and pay attention to grammatical accuracy.
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