social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantage of social media outweight the disadvange?
Recently,
people
love to use social media
as a new way to communicate with their friends or followers. Nevertheless
, several drawbacks may occur regarding personal information
spreading online. In this
essay, i
will examine that the benefits of social Change the capitalization
I
media
overshadow the potential drawbacks.
On the one hand, personal information
can easily be obtained from the internet because the use of social media
increased. Many people
are not aware that sharing their identity may lead to several negative impacts on their lives. Personal information
could misused by hacker for their own benefit, such
as selling it on the dark web to earn some money. For example
, Instagram is the most popular social media
, without the
account permission, they can access several pieces of Correct article usage
apply
information
inside of
the user's phone for commercial purposes. Change preposition
apply
Hence
, sometimes they could show an advertisement on an Instagram account, which is related to our need that just write it on the phone.
On the other hand
, social media
definitely brings numerous benefits. For ordinary people
, they could get the most updated information
and communicate with friends. Additional merits of social media
are they can earn money if a person has more than 10 thousand followers commonly called "Influencers". They are dependent on social media
because nowadays "Social Media
Influencers" turns out to be an occupation, in several conditions, they could earn a billion rupiah in a month. To illustrate, many products use social media
as the most effective method for advertisement and collaborating with influencers. As a result
, this
way believe that could engage with the customer and increase the number of products sold.
In conclusion, despite the social media
could lead to personal information
being hacked, social media
is a platform for some people
to produce money. I, therefore
, remain firmly convinced that the demerits of social media
are eclipsed by the demerits.Submitted by 2024successielts on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Ensure the introduction clearly states your position and outlines the points you will discuss. Avoid vague introductions and try to directly address the question posed.
Task Achievement
Work on the clarity of your arguments. Make sure each paragraph has one main idea that is clearly explained and supported by evidence.
Task Achievement
In the conclusion, restate your thesis and summarize your main points without introducing new information.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next. Use cohesive devices appropriately to ensure clear progression of ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check your essay for structural consistency, ensuring that each body paragraph contains a clear central topic that is expanded on throughout the paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Watch out for grammatical errors and inappropriate vocabulary choices that hinder the understanding of your points. Proofreading can help address these issues.