IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The government should lower the budget on the arts in order to allocate more money to education.To what extent do you agree?

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Nowadays, the
government
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 is more focused on the development of museums and
art
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 galleries to attract tourists from around the world. It is beneficial to the tourism business and eventually, it contributes to the
nation
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's gross domestic product. But, they should
also
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 think about other significantly important matters as well,
such
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 as
education
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. I strongly support the statement and discuss certain things in
this
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 essay. In recent times, the
government
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 is giving more attention to the
nation
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's history and
art
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, and in order to showcase
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 culture, they are investing in developing museums and
art
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 galleries. Of course, one
nation
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 should know its history and culture and should be proud of it. And in order to do
this
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, they allocate a healthy amount of budget for
this
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 purpose. But,
instead
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 of overspending on these matters, they should be thinking about
education
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.
Education
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 is the key to the bright future of any
nation
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. If the younger generation is educated enough, the per capita income will be high and ultimately it gives a boost to the economy through the high pay jobs.
Furthermore
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, recognization of the
art
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 is important. And the
government
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 should encourage the artists to represent his/her
country
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 at the highest level, and it demands a budget. But, not at the loss of
education
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. If the
country
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 has skilful and talented personnel, the
nation
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 has not relied on other countries for manufacturing or imports. They will be self-reliant and produce goods in the
country
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. And all of these will be possible through a good
education
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 system.
In addition
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,
education
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 strengthens the foundation of the
country
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. So, the
government
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 should give attention to the
education
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 policy of the
country
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 and should increase the budget for it. To recapitulate, it is important to preserve the
art
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 and the culture of the
nation
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. But,
education
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 is equally important for the younger generation.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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