IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many students find it difficult to focus or pay attention at school nowadays. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

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It has always been argued that these days it is hard to emphasise at educational institutes.
This
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 essay will not
elucidate
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only elucidate
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 the reasons
of
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for
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this
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 statement but
also
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 scrutinize how it can be curbed in subsequent paragraphs. Foremost, why do students face difficulties
to focus
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in focusing
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 at
school
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?
This
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 is because of a lack of sleep at night. To elaborate, nowadays, most students have
cellphones
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cell phones
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 as they
done
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do
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 their homework with the assistance of
this
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,
whereas
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 they spend more
time
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 on social apps for their entertainment
such
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 as Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat and many more.
Consequently
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, they do not pay much attention at
their
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apply
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school
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 because at that
time
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 they
fell
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fall
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 asleep.
Besides
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this
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, noisy atmosphere
at
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in
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classroom
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the classroom
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. If more pupils
in
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were in
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 one class, they would create noise with
this
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who
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apply
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students are more intelligent with
this
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 they could
distrapt
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be distracted
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 and can not focus on their academic subjects. Despite the above-mentioned reasons, there are some solutions is that
Firstly
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, parents need to make
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time
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a time
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 schedule
of
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for
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 their children and give
limited
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them limited
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time
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 to them of using smartphones with the aid of
this
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 they may take proper
nap
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naps
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 and focus at
their
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apply
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school
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.
Secondly
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, mentors should distribute to
lerners
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learners
 in different sections with
this
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 they might save from noise pollution and easily concentrate on their
study
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studies
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.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by Harward University revealed that in American schools there
a
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are a
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number of classrooms where people can study with their interest.
To conclude
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, the major behind
this
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 issue can be poor sleeping habits and noisy classrooms;
however
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, it can be curbed with the collaborative efforts of parents and
school
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 authorities.

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure and organization. Ideas are not effectively connected, and there is a lack of coherence in the essay. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they are not well-developed and fail to effectively guide the reader through the essay.
task response
The response to the task is incomplete, and the ideas are not well-developed. The essay does not effectively address the reasons for students' difficulty in focusing at school, and the solutions are not fully articulated. Specific examples and explanations are needed to support the ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • distractions
  • focus
  • pay attention
  • lack of interest
  • motivation
  • fatigue
  • sleep
  • classroom environment
  • teaching methods
  • technology addiction
  • social media
  • peer pressure
  • workload
  • support
  • active learning strategies
  • engaging
  • student-centered teaching
  • realistic goals
  • rewards
  • balanced lifestyle
  • screen time
  • breaks
  • physical activity
  • support and guidance
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