IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think they have right to use as much fresh water as they want, while others believe governments should strictly control the use of fresh water as it is limited resource. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #right #water #governments #control #resource
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Some individuals believe they have
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 to utilize as much fresh
water
Use synonyms
 as they desire,
whereas
Linking Words
 others feel authorities should harshly
control
Use synonyms
 the
use
Use synonyms
 of fresh
water
Use synonyms
 as it is
limited
Add an article
a limited
show examples
 resource. In my opinion,
governments
Use synonyms
 should harshly
control
Use synonyms
 the
use
Use synonyms
 of fresh
water
Use synonyms
 in order
save
Fix the infinitive
to save
show examples
 it for
dramatic
Add an article
the dramatic
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 growth of population and raise awareness among
people
Use synonyms
 about
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
 of fresh
water
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, some think individuals have
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 to utilize fresh
water
Use synonyms
 as they want.
This
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 is because
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 fresh
water
Use synonyms
 accessible for all
people
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 without
limit
Fix the agreement mistake
limits
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 can encourage
people
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 to drink
water
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.
Therefore
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, if
people
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 drink enough
water
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this
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 can help
people
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 to stay
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
 and prevent them to get diseases namely, high blood pressure,
dehydration
Correct word choice
and dehydration
show examples
.
Furthermore
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,
people
Use synonyms
 have paid taxes to the
governments
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, which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 the
governments
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 should allow
people
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 to
use
Use synonyms
 fresh
water
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 without limit.
On the other hand
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, I would like to agree with those
people
Use synonyms
 who believe the
governments
Use synonyms
 should harshly
control
Use synonyms
 the
use
Use synonyms
 of fresh
water
Use synonyms
.
To begin
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 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments
Use synonyms
 should introduce regulations regarding
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of fresh
water
Use synonyms
.
This
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 is the because
darmatic
Correct your spelling
dramatic
 growth of inhabitants worldwide can lead to problems related
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct article usage
the
show examples
shortage of fresh
water
Use synonyms
 in future.
Consequently
Linking Words
, if the
governments
Use synonyms
 strictly
control
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
 of
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 step can make sure
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 can meet the worldwide demand.
Moreover
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,
people
Use synonyms
 lack awareness of
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
 of
water
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 because they believe
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
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water
Use synonyms
 unlimited resource.
As a result
Linking Words
, if the lawmakers harshly
control
Use synonyms
 the
use
Use synonyms
 of
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 step can force
people
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
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water
Use synonyms
via
Change preposition
in
show examples
wise
Correct article usage
a wise
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 way.
To sum up
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,
For
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my perspective ,
governments
Use synonyms
 should harshly
control
Use synonyms
 the
use
Use synonyms
 of fresh
water
Use synonyms
 in order
save
Fix the infinitive
to save
show examples
 it for
dramatic
Add an article
the dramatic
show examples
 growth of inhabitants and make
people
Use synonyms
 more aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the value of fresh
water
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • freshwater
  • personal freedom
  • resources
  • daily necessities
  • environmental sustainability
  • depletion
  • regulation
  • distribution
  • underprivileged
  • future generations
  • conservative use
  • sustainable practices
  • monitoring
  • regulating
  • judiciously
What to do next:
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