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Writing Samples
Band 6

People today spend less and less time interacting with other people in their neighborhood and this has a negative impact on community. What are the causes and solutions?

#people #time #neighborhood #impact #community
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With the advent of technology and an era of globalisation, many
people
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 do not get much
time
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 to interact with their neighbours, which has a negative impact on the communities.
This
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 is because most citizens are busy with their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 in order to have a good standard of living and spend much of their
time
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 on the Internet.
However
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, a possible solution to
this
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 cause would be organising a cultural festival in the community and a group meeting in
society
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 once a month. One of the causes related to not knowing or interacting with a neighbour is improving the standard of living. Many
people
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 want to have a luxurious life, particularly in the metropolitan, so they often work overtime or 24x7 to get
this
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. Another reason is spending more
time
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 on the Internet.
This
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 is because these days, the majority of
people
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 like to spend their
time
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 on social media
such
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 as Facebook or WhatsApp to kill their leisure
time
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.
As a result
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, they are less inclined to interact with their neighbour.
For example
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, a survey conducted by Facebook found that 85% of
people
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 living in the cities do not know a person who is living next to their door as some are busy with their daily work and some are happy to spend their
time
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 checking a message on Whatsup and chatting with their friends on Facebook. A possible solution to solve
this
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 problem is organising cultural festivals. Governments could organise a cultural festival in the community every month.
As a result
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, many
people
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 will come to celebrate their festival, and
this
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 would give them a chance to interact with their neighbours and know them very well. Another solution is arranging a monthly meeting in
society
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.
Such
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 a meeting will give more opportunity to everyone in the
society
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 for knowing about the new arrival in the
society
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, general discussion and get together. Eventually,
this
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 will enable us to know more about the
people
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 who are living next to our door. In conclusion, improving the standard of living and killing our
time
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 on social media platforms results in not knowing our neighbours very well. Only when the higher authorities will organise culture, festivals and meetings of the
society
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 on a weekly basis, will the problem be solved.
Submitted by arhum.qayyum3 on

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly introduces the topic and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support the main points and ensure that all ideas are relevant to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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