Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is often said that
music
has the power to unite and connect people
, regardless of their cultural backgrounds or ages. I completely agree with this
view,
and will give my reasons below.
Remove the comma
apply
Music
can certainly reach across cultural and national boundaries and bring people
together. Perhaps the best example of this
would be the Live Aid concerts that took place back in the 1980s, and which were broadcast to a global audience. Two live events were held simultaneously in the UK and the US, and the objective was to raise funds for famine relief in Ethiopia. The concerts were a huge success, both in terms of the number of people
around the world who watched them and their impact on international public awareness of the famine. They demonstrated, I believe, that music
truly is the planet’s global language.
Just as it transcends cultures, music
also
has the ability to connect people
from different generations. Regardless of age, we can all enjoy a memorable melody, a strong rhythm or a beautiful singing voice, and the best songs seem to have the same magical effect on all of us. This
would explain why televised music
competitions, such
as ‘The X Factor’ or ‘The Voice’, are such
popular prime-time shows. These programmes attract incredibly broad audiences because singing and popular songs appeal to children, parents and grandparents alike. I would argue that no other form of entertainment can bring families together in this
way.
In conclusion, I believe that music
is unique in its capacity to create shared experiences between people
, irrespective of culture and age.Submitted by weezel on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay effectively supports the main idea with relevant specific examples, such as the reference to Live Aid concerts and music competitions like 'The X Factor' and 'The Voice'.
task achievement
The essay could slightly benefit from expanding on the concluding paragraph, perhaps by summarizing the key points in a bit more detail.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph flows logically from one to the next, and the ideas are coherently expressed.
coherence cohesion
The essay features a clear introduction that outlines the main argument and a strong conclusion that reinforces the key message.
task achievement
The examples used in the essay are well-chosen and effectively illustrate how music brings people together, across both cultures and generations.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is logical, and the ideas are presented in a clear and cohesive manner.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!