Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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It is often said that
music
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has the power to unite and connect
people
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, regardless of their cultural backgrounds or ages. I completely agree with
this
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and will give my reasons below.
Music
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can certainly reach across cultural and national boundaries and bring
people
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together. Perhaps the best example of
this
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would be the Live Aid concerts that took place back in the 1980s, and which were broadcast to a global audience. Two live events were held simultaneously in the UK and the US, and the objective was to raise funds for famine relief in Ethiopia. The concerts were a huge success, both in terms of the number of
people
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around the world who watched them and their impact on international public awareness of the famine. They demonstrated, I believe, that
music
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truly is the planet’s global language. Just as it transcends cultures,
music
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also
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has the ability to connect
people
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from different generations. Regardless of age, we can all enjoy a memorable melody, a strong rhythm or a beautiful singing voice, and the best songs seem to have the same magical effect on all of us.
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would explain why televised
music
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competitions,
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as ‘The X Factor’ or ‘The Voice’, are
such
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popular prime-time shows. These programmes attract incredibly broad audiences because singing and popular songs appeal to children, parents and grandparents alike. I would argue that no other form of entertainment can bring families together in
this
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way. In conclusion, I believe that
music
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is unique in its capacity to create shared experiences between
people
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, irrespective of culture and age.
Submitted by weezel on

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task achievement
The essay effectively supports the main idea with relevant specific examples, such as the reference to Live Aid concerts and music competitions like 'The X Factor' and 'The Voice'.
task achievement
The essay could slightly benefit from expanding on the concluding paragraph, perhaps by summarizing the key points in a bit more detail.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph flows logically from one to the next, and the ideas are coherently expressed.
coherence cohesion
The essay features a clear introduction that outlines the main argument and a strong conclusion that reinforces the key message.
task achievement
The examples used in the essay are well-chosen and effectively illustrate how music brings people together, across both cultures and generations.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is logical, and the ideas are presented in a clear and cohesive manner.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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