Today’s food travels thousands of miles before it reaches customers. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative trend?

In
this
contemporary world
where
Rephrase
apply
show examples
globalization plays a vital role in different aspects of human life.
Thus
, managing and transferring eateries around the world become significantly prevalent. From my perspective,
this
tendency imposes many profitable impacts, which are actually prevented by unpleasant aftermaths.
Initially
, it is undeniable that owing to the rapid growth of facilities and equipment in transportation, the emergence of modernized trains, ships and aeroplanes occurs more frequently.
Therefore
, there is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
ideal chance for investors to export and import
food
, spurring economic growth in the long run. As can be seen manifestly, many people who live in their hometown with abundant
food
reap the benefit from shipping and selling them to some densely populated areas with exponential prices, as it usually costs remarkably
lower
Correct word choice
less
show examples
to produce
food
where ingredients are more available .
As a result
, many millionaire and billionaire have taken their first step in their business way.
Moreover
,
this
trend gives foreigners opportunities to approach and experience global cuisines. The mutual interference of
food
tradition worldwide.
Then
, a variety of cuisine,
ingredients
Correct word choice
and ingredients
show examples
virtually
derives
Correct subject-verb agreement
derive
show examples
from it. Notwithstanding these benefits, there are multiple consequences that need to be considered. First and foremost, transporting eateries long-distance
have
Verb problem
is
show examples
responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
show examples
for the deterioration of their statement. In light of focusing indisciplined on speed and quantity, many negative influences happen, which directly cause bad effects on human consumption.
For instance
, investing hours in delivery leads to a reduction in
food
, which
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
a tremendous amount of preservative substances to keep it fresh and eye-catching. In the long term, consuming these chemicals
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
rise to unforeseen aftermath, raging from sicknesses and infirmity. Another worth considering issue is gas emissions. Thousand tons of carbon dioxide have been released annually when burning fossil fuels to supply enormous engines to transfer foods worldwide, which are considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the cornerstone for many insurmountable problems. In conclusion,
this
trend obviously imposes many profitable things, in spite of several issues that need to be taken into consideration.
Submitted by phamthithanhmai1501 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Please ensure that your introduction and conclusion are more clearly presented. Consider mapping out your main points with a stronger logical structure. Include more relevant examples to support your ideas and ensure that all points directly respond to the given topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on creating a more cohesive flow between your ideas. Use linking words and phrases to connect your sentences and paragraphs. Consider structuring your essay with a clearer introduction and conclusion to improve coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!